Drunken Woman Takes Piss Out Of Muslims On Bus
There was more drama in the West Midlands today, when a drunken woman travelling on a bus began to interrogate and abuse a group of Muslim women, causing them distress and embarrassment, according to an eyewitness. The drunk was sitting downstairs...
Read full storyUS Social Conservatives Advocate Abortion for Gay Fetuses
Science, politics, morality and religion have been doing a complex ballet around a variety of controversial issues. Evolution, intelligent design, creationism have performed a threesome across the stages of schools, legislatures and education departm...
Read full storyMadonna Wants Healthy, Safe Environment For Mercy
Madonna is finally speaking out for the first time about her failed adoption bid of 3-year-old Mercy James. "I really want to provide Mercy with a home, a loving family environment and the best education and healthcare possible," the 50-year-old pops...
Read full story17 Signs Your Bank May Be In Trouble
17. You walk by and notice that the other side of the "Closed" sign also says "Closed". 16. Photograph of Bank Founder on the wall that of Milburn Drysdale. 15. Sign by coffee says Free Coffee, (Foam cups $1 each) 14. Your free set of Matlock Episodes for opening a new account of $1,000 or more are on copied WalMart discs. 13. FDIC stands for "Food, Drink In Cooler", have a coke. 12...
Read full storyBerlusconi blames Swiss for Earthquake
Silvio Berlusconi, "The Permatanned man" that scared the Queen, today announced that he was thinking of declaring war on Switzerland as rumours spread that they had something to do with causing the Earthquake in the town of L'Aquila last week. "Th...
Read full storyEverton FC confirm new underground stadium plans
Everton FC announced the latest twist in their attempts to build a new stadium to replace their current home - Goodison Park. Having struck a new deal with the British military, the club have confirmed that they will be using a number of large tun...
Read full storySame-Sex ruling lets Iowa's secret liberal history out of the closet
Iowa City, Iowa -- News of the recent Iowan Superior Court ruling in favor of same-sex marriages may have come as a surprise to many in the nation, but not to native Iowans. In fact, few outside Iowa know of its liberal reputation and only that of it...
Read full storyNe'erdowell Writes Best Seller
London - Phillip Ne'erdowell, eighteen, of of Sussex Road, has surprised everyone, including his parents and himself by writing the number-one, best-selling novel on newsstands, aptly named "Sweet Buggerall." More recently known for imprinting his...
Read full storyGrim Reaper Laid Off Amid "Killer" Recession
ATLANTA - In a stunning announcement yesterday, the U.S. Center For Diseases (USCD) said that, due to budget cutbacks amid this economic recession, they were forced to lay off their highest ranking employee, Mr. Grim Reaper. Although Mr. Reaper...
Read full storyOfficial Secret's Act Repealled
Today in the House of Commons Gordon Brown announced new emergency measures. The official Secrets Act has been repealled, and every living person who has ever signed the secrets act is now being asked to sign a new document, for a small payment.
Read full storyThai PM declares state of emergency....in the UK
The prime minister of Thailand, Abhisit Vejjajiva, or is it Vabisit Avejaviva, has caused Gordon Brown considerable consternation by declaring a state of emergency. What has proven to be of most embarrassment to Gordon Brown is that the Thai prime...
Read full storyJonathon Yodder, Amish Rock Star, Dead at 27
Ames, Ia.-Jonathon Yodder, the rebellious Amish rocker, died in a fiery carriage crash early Saturday morning after a night of hard living. He had just turned 27 last week and had been celebrating the release of his new album, "Raisin' Barn". It was...
Read full storySen Ted Kennedy gifts Obamas Portuguese Wart Hog pet
Washington AC/DC - (Porcine Ass Mess): After an absence of some 20 years the White House is to get its very own swinish resident once again following reports that Sen Edward Kennedy has given the Obama family one of his very own Portuguese Wart Hogs...
Read full storySamson Obama perverted my hamster shockhorror
East Midlands Airport - (Bunny Boiler Ass Mess): President Obama's half-brother Samson is a bestial sex fiend who perverted a Bracknell girl's hamster into full-blown homosexuality. That's the fist, er... gist! - of a UK Border Cops bust following...
Read full storyNo 10 smear messages published
Details of emails which smeared the reputation of several top Tories have been released. Labour MPs, however, are denying their validity. According to the Sonday Timmes, the smear messages in the emails include: - Spreading rumours about the sh...
Read full storyPope delivers muddled Easter message
Pope Benedictine XIV today delivered a rather muddled Easter message in Rome today, causing much confusion amongst the thousands of faithful gathered there, and even some heckling. 'Ave Romani', the German said, 'today is Easter Sunday, and I stan...
Read full storyCricket Club To Legalise Stoning
A prestigious cricket club has announced plans to legalise stoning in Britain's schools. There have been previous attempts to get such a law passed, but protests by children who had been hit on the head by a cricket ball prevented the passing of the...
Read full storyDamian McBride email released
Shamed Downing Street official Damian McBride suffered more embarrassment today as the actual email that he has now resigned over was released. Within the email a number of accusations are discussed which were intended to be published via a Labour...
Read full storyBilly Bob Thornton Kicked Out of Canada
TORONTO - Billy Bob Thornton, who many now believe to be the biological brother of Joaquin Phoenix has been kicked out of Canada. The actor, screenwriter, director, singer infuriated the entire country of Canada with his absolutely pathetic interv...
Read full storyWoody Harrelson - Zombies Are Everywhere!
Woody Harrelson just finished a movie called "Zombieland" in which he was constantly under attack by Zombies. It's an eerie parallel to his real life where the mindless anti-hemp crowd has been stalking him relentlessly. It all came to a head in a...
Read full storyPirate Talks Break Down Over Linguistic Differences
US Navy and Federal Bureau of Investigation hostage negotiators appeared to have made every effort to reach and communicate with the Somali pirates who are holding an American Merchant Marine captain hostage on a life boat in the Indian Sea. That is...
Read full storyOctoMom's audition DVD for possible Reality TV Show does not go so well
Babies On Board Zone -- Setting up a digital camera on a tripod in her living room to record her own audition DVD to shop around to Reality TV producers, OctoMom takes her seat in her Lazy Boy recliner armchair with all eight of her new born babies s...
Read full storyBaseball Investigators Discover Steroids for Botox Pipeline to Congress
MLB snoops have reportedly uncovered an underground drug ring that swapped steroids for ball players for botox for Congressional candidates. Politicians agreed to look the other way on steroid use if they received a steady supply of skin tightener fr...
Read full storyArizona State U Denies Grad Speaker Obama Honorary Degree
The ASU Sun Devils won the honor of having the President of the USof A as a graduation speaker at their pretty second rate school in the heart of Barry Goldwater territory. Obama who has real earned degrees from some of the best schools in the world...
Read full storyTorres Can't Kop A Feel
Liverpool superstar Fernando Torres has admitted he doesn't wasn't Liverpool to win the title as it may harm his chances with the gay section of the Kop end. Speaking outspokenly about the situation Torres (20 something) said "They always want wha...
Read full storyKarl Rove, Bush's Brain, Calls VP Biden a Liar
Karl Rove who has acted as Bush's brain from way back in the Texan politic days is still doing the thinking for the former thoughtless in chief. The occasion that caused the surrogate thinker to re- engage was an interview given by Veep Joe Biden. Bi...
Read full storyNovelist Ayn Rand Channels New Book Through Medium
Ayn Rand, famous Russian-born writer who extolled the merits of capitalism and portrayed business leaders as heroes in society, has channeled a new book through a medium that has a modern spin to it. Viewing the present world economic situation f...
Read full storyRepublicans Change Platform From 'Compassionate Conservatism' To 'Cold-Blooded Conservatism'
The Republicans, still smarting from their losses in the 2008 elections, have taken a new stance. Gone are the Bush I and II philosophies of 'Compassionate Conservatism'. The new motto is 'Cold-Blooded Conservatism'. This new attitude will focus...
Read full story