17. You walk by and notice that the other side of the "Closed" sign also says "Closed".
16. Photograph of Bank Founder on the wall that of Milburn Drysdale.
15. Sign by coffee says Free Coffee, (Foam cups $1 each)
14. Your free set of Matlock Episodes for opening a new account of $1,000 or more are on copied WalMart discs.
13. FDIC stands for "Food, Drink In Cooler", have a coke.
12. Half a dozen buzzards sitting over entrance.
11. Sign: $250 Fee For Returned Checks
10. First statement states "Includes small $20 deduction for Free Toaster"
9. Teller always asks you if you'd like to purchase some lottery tickets before you leave.
8. Requires one month advance notice of large withdrawals over $100.
7. Free original painting by Bank President's kid from refrigerator with every new account opened, your choice of ducks.
6. Guy in front of you opening an account causes you, in back of the line, see CEO do a little end zone dance.
5. Two recent hold-ups were able to guess combination to safe.
4. "Our First Dollar Deposit" Frame empty.
3. The teller tells you that the Vice President also has some free range eggs for sale.
2. Free mint-flavored toothpicks for the kiddies.
1. Tanning booth, weight-lifting equipment in back.
