East Midlands Airport - (Bunny Boiler Ass Mess): President Obama's half-brother Samson is a bestial sex fiend who perverted a Bracknell girl's hamster into full-blown homosexuality.
That's the fist, er... gist! - of a UK Border Cops bust following a swoop on the President's sibling while en route to Washington AC/DC from Nairobi, Kenya last January.
Samson, 69, allegedly gave mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to the little furry beastie without checking if he was actually holding the creature upside down.
A complaint to the police by the girl's father meant that Samson Obama's DNA swabs were captured and stored on the UK Home Office's new database of prints and biometric details.
"Now he's in for it!" someone totally unconnected to the White House said on Breakfast TV this morning.
