Pirate Talks Break Down Over Linguistic Differences

Funny story written by Pointer

Sunday, 12 April 2009

image for Pirate Talks Break Down Over Linguistic Differences
Somali Captain Hookah was driven up the masthead by US negotiators' use of 19th C piratese

US Navy and Federal Bureau of Investigation hostage negotiators appeared to have made every effort to reach and communicate with the Somali pirates who are holding an American Merchant Marine captain hostage on a life boat in the Indian Sea. That is until the Somalis released actual tapes of the American communiques.

Somali pirate, Captain Hookah provided commentary on the recorded communications. The Pirate captain singled out a few examples of what he called totally incomprehensible messages: "What in Allah's name does 'Shiver me timbers' mean? Why would any one inquire as to the health of our parrots? Constantly saying things like 'Avast ye matey' and 'Yo, ho, ho and a bottle of rum' caused us to break off contact in the hope that the US leaders would find some negotiators who actually know how to talk to pirates without the continual use of ARGGHH!."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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