Re-invented Amy Back on Stage.
Homely Amy Winehouse is to star in this years Blackpool Tower's production of Aladdin. In an inspired coup for the resort, Amy has leapt at an offer to play "Widow Twankey" in the flying carpet/magic lamp romp, this season's star studded Christmas...
Read full storyBanks introduce new 60, 90 and 120-year intergenerational mortgages
Washington, D.C. - Faced with the reality that the US economy has been driven by extending a never-ending line of credit, until now, instead of raising the standard of living of the average American, banks have rolled out the latest product line of f...
Read full storyAlaska Gov. Sarah Palin Responds to Turkey Slaughter Interview
Fairbanks, AK- Governor Sarah Palin is unrepentant for conducting an interview in front of a turkey slaughter house. Children watched in horror as they watched turkeys get decapitated. Gov. Sarah Palin responded to the complaints from parents inside...
Read full storyRussell Brand To Star In His Own U.S. Reality Show
NEW YORK CITY, New York - British celebrity Russell Brand has just been signed to star in his own reality television series on the Fox Network. Kendell Ketchum, spokesman for Fox said, 'The name of the show is 'Russell Brand: Okay, Let Me See Who...
Read full storyAspartame Folk Remedy Not Working
HAITI -A new folk remedy popular among witch doctors here is said to be used for arthritis pain. The victim is told to soak a pound of raisins in, a pound of aspartame dissolved in water. One then lets the raisins dry. The drying process is assiste...
Read full storySlag who shagged Prince Jefri Archer out to ruin Gorgon Ramsey
London - (ReUterus & Sordid Ass Mess): First she shagged former former Conservative Party chairman Jeffrey Archer, then his thieving Brunei mobster counterpart Prince Jefri. And now blonde bombshell Sarah Symonds is threatening to screw over...
Read full storyJungle Contestant Claims Her Boobs Were Really Cold.
I'm a Celeb Get Me Out Of Here contestant and all round useless bitch Nicola 'Placcy-Baps' McLean (who we'd never even heard of prior to this because we don't read the Daily Liar) complained that her boobs were cold during a jungle trial, forcing the...
Read full storyRussell Brand caught shagging more 'satanic slut' granddaughters: of Che Guevara, Manuel Noriega, General Pinochet and Hugo Chavez
New York - (ReUterus & Succubus Ass Mess): "The man's insatiable for Satanic Slut vagina vipers!" LAFagHagSlagMag Manhattan correspondent Dave Skank commented today as the news broke of UK comic Russell Brand's latest demonic conquest, Che Guevar...
Read full storyBiff Baff Boff - Mallet And Van Day's Jungle Song Has Classic Written All Over It
Australia. Jungle. Not really dangerous... What started out as a bit of a lark between Jungle contestants Timmy Mallet and David VanDay has sent music afficionados buzzing the world over. Biff Baff Boff is bound to secure the pair a multi-squillion...
Read full storyCelebratory sex responsible for 1 million blue babies to be born in July
Republicans, fearing the worst, are bracing for an army of 1 million new, blue babies to be born sometime in July. This comes after Gallup-poll findings that 10 million Americans had unprotected sex on election night. "We are fearing the worst,"...
Read full storyIn Shocking Interview van der Sloot Claims He Sold Missing Fox Anchor Greta Van Susteran to Vladmir Putin!
Bangkok,Thailand/ Reuters - Talk show host Larry King boosted his sagging ratings with a shocking TV confession by Aruba sociopath Joran van der Sloot that he was responsible for the disappearance of Fox Anchor Greta Van Susteran! The dogged Van S...
Read full storyMona Lisa Twin Discovered
Florence Italy-- Workmen rehabbing a studio apartment in Florence yesterday made the artistic find of the century. The workers discovered an identical twin to the Mona Lisa hidden behind a brick wall for centuries. The stunning portrait was ver...
Read full storyDC Barry Hopper from the play 'Murmuring Judges' is a Psychopath
DC Barry Hopper, the protagonist in David Hare's boring and over-analysed play, 'Murmuring Judges' is a raving loon and psychopath said, his former partner Abdul 'Jimmy' Khan. "While he may be a figment of David Hare's lack of imagination, Barry H...
Read full storyScolari Rates His Chances Of Leaving Chelsea As "1 In 4"
After only 5 months in the job, Chelsea manager Luiz Felipe Scolari has indicated that he is not entirely happy with things at Stamford Bridge, and will leave if the Blues don't beat Cluj in their next Champions League fixture. Chelsea drew 1-1 wi...
Read full storyWoolworth's fold - Pick'n'mix blamed
Woolworths announced today that they are set to close the doors on their three thousand stores for the last time after no buyer was found willing to take on their £350million debts. Woolworths were one year off their centenary and have become a co...
Read full storyOld Brain
NORTHFOLK ENGLAND - Brain scans of older people in a lab give backing to the idea that they could be old, researchers reported Wednesday. The finding proves a theory about one reason why old age weakens the legs and why older people have more trou...
Read full storyBNP almost as popular as Paris Hilten
Paris Hilten is slighlty ahead today in a popularity contest with the BNP. Since publication, Spoof articles relating to Hilten and the BNP have received significantly higher numbers than any other articles with Hilten pipping the far right party...
Read full storyCounty Council blames school teachers for closure of airport
Cornwall County Council has blamed school teachers for its decision to close Newquay Airport for three weeks. The airport failed to get a CAA licence to operate because of perceived weaknesses in the air traffic control system. A spokesman for the...
Read full storyObama says: Daughters will go to Elite School When They are not Cinderellian Around the White House!
The White House will be kept spic n span by the Obama girls when they are not at their elite Quaker school. During the day the ladies Obama will don their private school frocks and explore the depths of elite studies at their Society of Very Rich Fri...
Read full storyUS Blue Chips On Sale at The Five and Dime!
An older saleslady with the rhinestone glasses suspended by the gold chain was hawking shares of Citigroup for 3 dollars a pop. A voice over announced the on aisle four General Motors was having a special for two fifty a throw. Chrysler opened...
Read full storyMadame Bitters Says Cross Dressing Hubby is the Perfect Man
Dearest Madame Bitters, Yesterday when I came home from work early I got the shock of my life. I walked in on 'Stan,' my husband of 8 years dressed up in women's clothing, some of which are mine. He was even wearing panyhose, heels and makeup! Stan swears to me he isn't gay and that he dresses in women's clothing to 'unwind.' He also confessed he's been doing it since he was a teenager. I don't...
Read full storyHumpty Dumpty Joins British Economic Council
All the Queen's men and all the Queen's horses carried the variegated pieces of economic expert H. Dumpty to the meeting of the BEC. Dumpty though known to be quite divided over solutions to the UK's economic crisis is believed to be the only hope to...
Read full storyNYC Spoof Newspaper Takes Over Sponsorship of Thanksgiving Day Parade After Macy's Goes Under
This year's Thanksgiving Day parade down the streets of New York city has obtained a new look due to the collapse of the department store chain Macy's and the last minute rescue sponsorship from the NYC branch of a satirical website. The website...
Read full storyEx prez Clinton in new role in Obama administration
It has been announced today that ex President Bill Clinton has been appointed to the role of Senior Janitor within the White House premises. The role has been created especially for Clinton as he knows the building intimately and he would have ap...
Read full storyThe 2009 Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young Tour
LOS ANGELES, California - The year 2009, will mark the 40th anniversary of the Woodstock Music Festival performance of Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young. David, Stephen, Graham, and Neil have been signed by Left Coast Tours Unlimited to a reunion...
Read full storyThailand Transvestite Sluts Storm Hotels in Protest
BANGCOCK, Thailand - Thai Police have closed a second hotel in the capital after Transvestites stormed the hotel lobby in their underwear screaming "we don't want dicks". The country's main international hotel has been closed since early Wednesday...
Read full storyOblama and family steal food
California - President Baratt Oblama and his wife took their daughters shoplifting, saying they wanted to show the girls the meaning of stealing, especially when so many people are being caught. Ten-year-old Malik and 7-year-old Shita joined their...
Read full storyThe Diet of Worms
The American Council of Churches announced recently that it was sponsoring a project at UCLA to study the historical ramifications of the Diet of Worms, the famed sixteenth century religious conclave. The study will examine the Diet's action in conde...
Read full storyDonald Rumsfeld Is Buddy Holly Shock Revelation!
It has been revealed that former US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld is actually the legendary Rock & Roll singer Buddy Holly. Holly who was thought by millions to have been killed in a plane crash in 1959 miraculously survived but was too tr...
Read full storyTeenage Prankster Responsible for World Financial Crisis
Wall-E Street, New York - As the world teeters on the edge of a financial abyss, it has been revealed that the current global economic meltdown has been caused by a single British teenager. The 19 year old film student from Kilburn, London created th...
Read full storyMan Survives 300ft Plunge Into Jam Jar
An English stockbroker has survived a 300ft fall from a London Hotel. The man Mr Sandy Volestrangler fell off a 16th floor balcony at London's swish Dorchester Hotel in Park Lane. He plunged headfirst into a jam jar that was left on the forecou...
Read full storyHenderson County Office-Equipment Inventor Dies!
350-pound Walter Keaton, local office supply entrepreneur and inventor died at his home recently after an extended illness. He was 76. Walter's widow, 375-pound Mrs. Keaton called the Jetsonville Police after she smelled "something gamey" in the...
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