Scots Not Violent Alcoholic Maniacs, Claims Scot
A Scot today made the shock claim that Scots are not a nation of violent, alcoholic nutcases, after Manchester police fought them to death for hours, and then the Scots trashed half the city, after the UEFA Cup final there.
Read full storyObama Will Talk With Osama On Oprah
(Chicago IL) Barack Obama confirmed late today he will meet with terrorist leader Osama bin Laden on 'The Oprah Winfrey Show' tomorrow. The gabfest is a direct challenge to President Bush's statement today about the futility of talking wi...
Read full storyActor Hugh Grant Wins Publicity
Actor Hugh Grant has won lots of publicity, after he accepted a free lunch from the BBC.
Read full storyChurch Provides Evidence that Evolution is Wrong
The Vatican - In a recent statement, the church announced that it had irrefutably proven that the concept of evolution and all theories associated with it are all just "a Bunch of Horrible Lies Designed to Corrupt the Youth and the Educated"...
Read full storyFauxzer anounces Penis Reduction Pill
New York - Pharmaceutical giant Fauxzer INC is set launch an over the counter penis reduction pill under the name brand "Imahung" the company announced today. "Imahung" will launch the company's entrance into the male de-enha...
Read full storyRecord Home Foreclosures in the U.S. Good for Those Already Homeless
The Housing downturn in the United States might last into 2010-2013, some experts say.
Read full storyJesus Returns To Earth - Confirms He Is Indeed A Hippie-Haired, Pale-Faced, Sissy-Looking White Guy
SALT LAKE CITY - The enduring mystery of what Jesus really looked like was solved today after the Lord returned to earth in his Second Coming.
Read full storyYorkshire Ripper livid at son's royal wedding snub
HMP Broadmoor - (Psychotic Mess): The Yorkshire Ripper wants an immediate judicial review of a cynical breach of his human rights that prevent him seeing his son by Camilla wed this weekend at Windsor Castle.
Read full storyWoman Wearing Cross Also Worships Bullet That Killed Best Friend
SAN ANTONIO - A woman who never leaves home without her cross on a chain reported today that she also glorifies the bullet that killed her friend who "was the greatest friend in the whole world" and was "closer than a sister."
Read full storyThe Spoof.com writer/psychic proven correct as Brangelina twin pregnancy finally confirmed!
Once again, The Spoof.com writer shea lo has proven remarkable psychic skills.
Read full storyBarack Obama Says Sorry For 'Phwoarrrrr!' Comment
Senator barracker Barack Obama today apologised to a woman for saying 'Phwoaarrrrrr! Nice ass, baby!' to reporter Peggy Page3star, at a press conference.
Read full storyMan Returns From The Future and Says It's 'Not that Bad'
Scientists are continuing to question a man who claims to be the first time traveler to visit Earth this year.
Read full storyOil speculators finally succeed in severing Adam Smith's "Invisible Hand". Oil now too expensive to pump out of the ground -- Chicken Little was right: The Sky is Falling!
New York, New York - Oil commodity speculators were a little too successful today, as they finally pushed the price of crude oil futures to an all-time high and beyond the trading point of no return. Meaning that the precious black gold is now so exp...
Read full storyJenna Bush's Husband Announces Divorce
After just five days of marriage, the union of President Bush's daughter, Jenna, and 30-year old Henry Chase Hager, has ended.
Read full storyCows Don't Moo Loudly Enough
At Darlington Crown Court, a claim was made today that cows don't moo loudly enough.
Read full storyThe Story Part 6 "Pennypensilvil"
This story tells the woebegot tale of 'Andy Pandy Sugar And Candy Big Smile Sam Spanker Steph Lover Fluffy Silky Moo' hereafter to be known AS APSCBSSSSLFSM and that of those he meets on the journey of his life.
Read full storyManchester Police Chief Denies 'We ran away like little girls'
The Chief of Manchester's Police, Sir David Beanstalker, denied that his riot police officers had 'run away like little girls, and sobbed in the corner.'...
Read full storyMan Shot At For Mowing His Lawn Too Loudly In Dumfries
A man was shot at yesterday for mowing his lawn too loudly, in the Scottish backwater of Dumfries.
Read full story'We were underrated', says Ferguson
Rangers captain, and intellectual philosopher, Barry Ferguson, claimed today that Rangers had been underrated.
Read full storyChineese earthquake and burmeese cyclone link
(Neuters) In the last half an hour it has come to light that the Chinese government were field testing their military's latest weapon, this is where the whole Chinese population farts at the same time.
Read full storyAngelina Jolie set to destroy own vagina
Angeline Jolie, the big-lipped star of Tomb Raider today confirmed she was expecting twins thus abandoning any hope of retaining a youthful tuppence.
Read full storyRyanAir revealed to be an airline
In a shock expose by the BBC's "Watchdog" program last night, it was revealed that RyanAir is actually an airline.
Read full story'I Can Take Take All Your Savings', Says Brown
Prime Minister, Gordon Scrooge, claimed today that he could 'take all your savings, and put them in my Lloyds TSB account', causing no surpise to City analysts, and a passing cat.
Read full storyRangers Fans 'Not A Disgrace To Scotland', Salmonface Claims
Scottish First Deputy Thingy Alex Salmon, speaking from his fishtank in Holyrude, claimed that violent, drunken Rangers fans had not been a disgrace to Scotland.
Read full storyBehindatthebar challenge spells Preakness death-knell for Big Brown
Pimlico - (Thoroughbred Mess): Eat your heart out, Kentucky Derby hero Big Brown.
Read full storyBlack Guy Unintentionally Uses Face, Ribs To Run Into Police Officer's Nightstick, Boot
NEW ORLEANS - A local black man is in serious condition here after he repeatedly ran into an officer's night stick and boot with his face and ribs late Monday night.
Read full storyUS Lists Bush Family As Threatened Species
The United States has listed the Bush family as a threatened species, because American voters' braincells have been increasing in recent years.
Read full storyRocket man claims 'It's not rocket science'
Yves Rossy, the pilot who wowed the public with his rocket powered solo flight over Bex, Switzerland has explained how easy it is to achieve the feat.
Read full storyChinese Earthquake Rescue Workers Make Strange Requests For Help
Rescue workers trying to free trapped victims of the earthquake in China, have said they are in dire need of food, clothing and medical supplies, but also of several other essential items, such as hammers, cranes, rubber gloves - and...
Read full storyWoman QC must resign over inflammatory comments says top judge
London - (Sub-Judice Mess): A top UK judge has slammed a woman QC's virulent public remarks and demanded her immediate resignation.
Read full storyBill O'Reilly to record gangster rap album
Conservative pundit and self-appointed guardian of the nations morals Bill O'Reilly has today revealed plans to release his own 'straight up gangsta rap' album.
Read full storyIndiana Jones and curse of the over-full colostomy bag
Steven Spielberg has announced plans for yet another Indiana Jones movie, expected to premier in 2010.
Read full storyNew "Dummies for Dummies" book published
The latest book in the 'for Dummies' series - those bright yellow books on a range of subjects for the uninitiated - "Dummies for Dummies", is being published and launched today by literary giant Tara Palmer-Dumbkinson at the Acme B...
Read full storyManchester Police 'baffled' at Cup Final rampage
Following the unprecedented damage caused by an estimated 100,000 Glasgow Rangers fans celebrating the defeat of their team in the Uefa Cup Final, Greater Manchester Police remain 'baffled and surprised' at the sudden turn in mood from party...
Read full storyBush gives up golf to save America
Americans can sleep soundly in their specially strengthened beds tonight due to the announcement by The White House that George Bush has given up golf to focus on being the president.
Read full storyGlasgow Rangers Fan Arrested In UEFA Bagpipe Rumpus
A Scotsman wielding a set of bagpipes was arrested by police in Manchester last night after fans of Glasgow Rangers rampaged through the city centre singing and waving to passers-by.
Read full storyRangers Fans Labelled "Drunks" By Respectable Manchester Folk
Fans of Glasgow Rangers who behaved despicably after last night's UEFA Cup Final defeat against Zenit St Petersburg, have been called "scoundrels", "hooligans" and &qu...
Read full storyWasted Girl Can't Work Cell Phone
New York - Local Party girl Robin Privman tried to text the cute guy she met earlier in the evening while barhopping with her girlfriends, but soon discovered something was wrong with her cell phone.
Read full storyBush Welcomes New Son-in-law Skull and Bones Abu Graib Style
George W Bush has been through some tough times as he has destroyed his own country.
Read full storyConjoined Steingrabber Twins, Hal and Hank, Blast Yankee Bad Play!
Congenital conjoined Steingrabber twins, Hal and Hank have already lost their genetically programmed short tempers. Like their explosive progenitor, the twins have already begun to browbeat their inherited team.
Read full storyUncivilzed Englanders For Anarchy (UEFA) Dance at Manchester Policeman's Ball
At first instead of the usually brawling the UEFA, the Uncivilized Englanders For Anarchy danced like little lords Fauntleroy at the Manchester Policeman's Ball. But just when everyone thought it was safe to go out on the dance floor, the video l...
Read full storyShock move: Ronaldo to Madrid
Manchester,13th May - The celebrations following Manchester United's 17th title win last Sunday were yet to die down,when the club's supporters were dealt a rude shock by the announcement of the clubs star striker-masquerading-as-winger leavi...
Read full storyGeologists discover that rocks are made from dust in revolutionary scientific breakthrough
A recent discovery has led geologists to the conclusion that rocks are indeed made from dust, which is very tightly compacted. This latest discovery has brought chaos to the scientific community and in many other circles, causing the rewrite of sever...
Read full storyBox Office Version: Warren Christopher Was Bent Over by James A. Baker III
HBO is telling the story of the Bush theft of the Florida vote in order to launch the worst Presidency ever. Censors for the cable TV network have been working over time to find a way to get this near porn film on the airwaves.
Read full storyThin, Neat and Might as Well Be Single Edwards and Obama Bond!
The Seinfeld definition of gay, not that there is anything wrong with it, has had two clear illustrations in this year's Democratic Primary race.
Read full storyBush-Cheney: The Kiss of Death!
Republican Party State Organizations have been filing orders of protection against Bush-Cheney in record numbers.
Read full storyBarry Bonds inadvertently encourages youth to use steroids
Despite his repeated denials, many young high school athletes believe Barry Bonds owes his slugging power and career longevity to the use of performance enhancing substances such as steroids.
Read full storyMississippi Chooses Demo Fascist over Repub Nazi
For the third time now in consecutive off season elections traditionally Republican districts have voted for Democrats. Political commentators are reading in these tea leaves a disastrous fall for the GOP in the Fall elections.
Read full storySunglasses linked to Pedophilia
A recent study has found that anyone who wears aviator sunglasses for anything other the aviation is 9 million times more likely to be a pedophile than people who wear normal sunglasses.
Read full storyIronman seen as viable defense alternative
Sources revealed yesterday that the department of defense is exploring the use of comic book technology as a viable alternative for the difficult and unconventional war on terror.
Read full storyDavid Archuleta's "Idol" Dad More like "American Dad", say producers
Hollywood, California - Jeff Archuleta, the overly zealous "stage mom" of "American Idol" contestant, David Archuleta, has been banished from the magical kingdom of Simon Cowell, say the show's producers. As they have had enou...
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