Record Home Foreclosures in the U.S. Good for Those Already Homeless

Funny story written by W.D. Nelson

Thursday, 15 May 2008

image for Record Home Foreclosures in the U.S. Good for Those Already Homeless
Homeless People Headed For The New York Stock Exchange?

The Housing downturn in the United States might last into 2010-2013, some experts say.
While the foreclosures skyrocketed to 65% in April, Amos Klagg was flush with money for a change. Mr. Klagg is a homeless man who made his "home" out of cardboard and rags behind a restaurant, so he could also get food when it was thrown out the back door.

John Fryed, who just lost his house and had a wife and child and is now homeless also, made a deal with Mr. Klagg to purchase his "home" for $200. That was more money Amos Klagg has seen in twelve years when he used to be a United States Senator from New York. Mr. Flagg fell from grace when he began putting city money into his private offshore accounts and was caught, spent time in jail, giving him a felony record and unable to get a job when he was released.

A friend of his, who only identified himself as "Skank", told us that he just sold his cardboard box over a subway grate near Grand Central Station. Because the family he was dealing with, who had their 1.7 million dollar mansion in Upstate New York taken away, had a small family dog with them, "Skank" added a small addition to his cardboard box and got $400 from that family for his "home".

All over New York City and other major American Cities, homeless people have been building new homeless "homes" out of cardboard, scrap metal and anything else they can get their hands on, then turning around and selling them to regular working middle class families who have lost their homes to foreclosure and are paying top dollar for the homeless men's "homes".

Amos Klagg told of a guy he knew who had a "penthouse" cardboard shelter just outside of Central Park which he sold for $600!

"Thank God for this housing foreclosure thing, it's bringing in big bucks for us folks who are already homeless."

A homeless woman who only identified herself as "Big Mama", made enough money selling her re-built homeless "homes" that she was able to actually buy a small, real home in Brooklyn, NY and was thinking of trying to franchise her cardboard home plan with other homeless people who don't have the brains or energy to re-build more homeless "homes".

A member of the New York Stock Exchange was checking out people like Amos, "Skank" and "Big Mama" to see if there might be a way to create an IPO (Initial Public Offering) for the new type of homeless people who now have money to spend.

"Only in America", said "Skank" with a big toothless grin, "can a guy go from living in a cardboard box over a subway grate, to being considered becoming a member of the NYSE!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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