Green-eyed monster in a tin foil hat
Washington AC/DC - (Bug-eyed Mess): The Clinton White House diaries dilemma continues to rage unabated this weekend with the news that a big oil society hostess is happy to nudge the former First Lady's memory a bit and fill in "those pesky...
Read full storyBatman's Identity Still Unknown. Christian Bale a Batfraud.
Gotham City, U.S.A.- In a shocking discovery earlier this week, Christian Bale has been outted as a fraud.
Read full storyMMR quack was abducted by aliens GMC told
London - (Ass Mess): Aliens abducted notorious MMR quack Dr Andrew Wakefield a GMC disciplinary hearing into gross professional misconduct was told today.
Read full storyLex Luthor to Play Michael Rosenbaum in New CW Series
Lex Luthor and Warner Bros. have been meeting over the last few weeks. Many have been speculating on whether or not, these meetings have to do with Michael Rosenbaum's portrayal of the billionaire bad boy.
Read full storyMagnificent astrology for Aishwarya's first wedding anniversary
Mumbai - (Zodiac Mess): The skies have spoken! Green-eyed Bollywood goddess Aishwarya Rai and her big screen movie idol husband Abhishek Bachchan will be blessed in 2008 as the stars line up in magnificent array on their first wedding anniversary on...
Read full storyMissing Pastor Pat Robertson Found In Gay Ohio Strip Club
Buffallo - (Bluffalot Mess): Hallelujah! Missing evangelical pastor the Rev Pat Robertson has been found at last, totally ratarsed inside a gay strip club outside Dayton, Ohio, according to reports today.
Read full storySinbad heckles Hillary Clinton on sniper fire in Bosnia after their USO Tour; Clinton counters: Sinbad is disloyal and would have died there if not for her
Washington, DC - The second shoe fell in the Hillary Clinton Bosnian sniper fire fiasco today when 1990s comedic sensation Sinbad made some embarrassing remarks that not only contradicted Clinton's account of what happen on the ground during thei...
Read full storyDepressed Clams seek help
The saying 'Happy as a Clam' is wrong, for Scientists have proven that the Bi-valve creatures are actually some of the most miserable animals in existance.
Read full storyLuke to Owen Get Out
Aftershocks can be felt running thourgh the Wilson camp after brother Owen appeared on WWE as his character Drillbit Taylor.
Read full storyHeathrow Terminal 5 Chaos Is Over Says Manager
In a revealing interview today the manager of Heathrow Airports new Terminal Five building has revealed how he calmed down and sorted out this weekends chaos.
Read full storySirus Black Alive And Well...And Engaged
It turns out thought to be dead Sirus Black, godfather of the famous Harry 'scarhead' Potter is in fact alive and well, living in the English countryside.
Read full storyBiggest Hit NFL or Rugby
After long years of research, and one too many beers, the researches at Fartinston Labs finally have answered the question. Which sport hits harder Rugby or American Football. The answer is mixed but comes as this, more damage is done to a rugby pl...
Read full storyBoat Race Latest
The 2008 Boat Race gets under way this Saturday, with the news that this year's event is to be longer than in previous years, by some considerable distance, and will be rowed in the opposite direction
Read full storyDan Radcliffe Leaves The Harry Potter Films
Daniel Radcliffe has been working on the Harry Potter film series since he was eleven years old, now seven years later he has left the film set in a strop claiming he will never work on the films again.
Read full storyCurlin's exhibition match lap of honor versus local three-legged no-hoper Jalil and others
Nad Al Sheba - (Thoroughbred Mess): Red-hot Dubai World Cup 4/9 favorite Curlin will make mincemeat of glue factory-reject opposition in Saturday's $6 million racing contest according to Aintgottaprayer.con internet tipsters.
Read full storyTerminal 5 Closes Forever
Heathrow Airport was a scene of utter chaos this morning after it was announced that Terminal 5, the new £4.3billion facility opened to passengers just yesterday, was to close with immediate effect.
Read full storyJK Rowling Prepares to Sue the World
"I have decided (says JKR from the throne of her Scottish castle) that all people who have profited from my creation, Harry Potter, or are thinking about profiting are to be sued. Steve Vanderark (Harry Potter Lexicon Creator) is just the beginning… next time it's the world.
Read full storyLeona Lewis reveals influence
It has been reported today that Leona Lewis is the first UK artist to top the US charts in twenty years.
Read full storyPrince Philip Caught Dogging With Carla Brunei
Amidst all the pomp and ceremony of the French state visit by Nicolas Sarkozy and his new Mrs, Carla Brunei, cracks in their relationship are already showing. Ms Brunei delights in showing her dirty washing in public.
Read full storyGovernment Plans to Stockpile Bullshit
In a new report, due out next week, a government expert has warned that bullshit will run out by the year 2015.
Read full storyMerck patients committing suicide, according to FDA
Many users of the popular asthma and allergy drug Singulair seem to be experiencing mood changes and committing suicide, according to FDA regulators.
Read full storyYour Right Rev Jeremiad Wrighteous's Sermon of the Day
Brothers and Sisters, Those few newspaper readers among my precious illiterate flock may have heard that your Right Rev has come into a passel of trouble over his many passionate and impassioned pleas for justice, Somebody say: Amen!, in America! But I say to you, my brethren and cisterns, every word out of my black mouth has been inspired by the Holy Spirit- say Hallelujah! That's right broes...
Read full storyMadonna Says: "Red Ken Forces Me to Walk Like an Egyptian!"
Madonna has attacked "Red" Ken Livingstone for the gridlock, congestion and pollution caused by the green Mayor's congestion charge.
Read full storyBritish Teens Drink A Hundred Bottles of Beer and Are Off the Wall!
A study carried out by Liverpool John Moore's university has found almost all of 15-to-16-year-olds in North West England are involved in underage binge drinking and violence.
Read full storyMajor League Baseball to Be Replaced
Beginning next year, 2009, the period between the end of March to the beginning of October, for many Americans, will no longer be a time of merriment and great joy. In fact, it could be said that that time frame will be a time of loss, tears, and ma...
Read full story