The saying 'Happy as a Clam' is wrong, for Scientists have proven that the Bi-valve creatures are actually some of the most miserable animals in existance.
Proffesor Yes Man told us, 'We have proven that Clam's are actually pretty miserable pretty much all of the time. We believe that it is the fact that they spend their time sifting sand, and do very little else. Even their social life seems to be pretty dull. We often find them doing embroidery, or playing Dominos. All very boring for us, but pretty spectacular when you bear in mind that Clams have no opposable thumbs'.
Professor Man continued: 'Depending on Government funding, we are going to be carrying out the same experiments on Sand-boys, if only we could find some, and then we move on to Chimps and Elephants'.
