Buffallo - (Bluffalot Mess): Hallelujah! Missing evangelical pastor the Rev Pat Robertson has been found at last, totally ratarsed inside a gay strip club outside Dayton, Ohio, according to reports today.
Robertson, 69, disappeared two days ago after telling his wife he was just popping out to buy some pancake batter.
But he failed to return and sparked a state-wide police search which finally ended today at Dayton's Pink Rhinestone Cowboy OoohLala Club.
Police officers said Robertson appeared to be fine physically when they located him, slumped half naked on a table, smelling of strong liquor and unable to pull up his underwear which seemed to be tied around his ankles, binding them in a standard sailor's knot.
After hosing him down and covering him over in some protective rubber-coated sheeting the officers were able to take him in for questioning.
"He kinda sobered up after a while," Sgt Bill Kow told reporters.
"Guess the atmosphere was a bit icy when Mrs Robertson turned up to take him home though."
