Gordon Ramsay buys Neverland from Michael Jackson for Beckham's birthday
Foul mouthed celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay has paid Michael Jackson a reported £450,000 for the Neverland Ranch in Santa Barbara, California.
Read full storyUN Security Council passes resolution 1889 (2008) to re-instate UNMOVIC to investigate latest UK A-Bomb Tests
February 27th was a special day for the UK when the people of England, Wales and Northern Ireland were shaken out of their beds by what was apparently a 5.4 on the Richter scale earthquake, emanating from the Lincolnshire town of Market Rasen, near G...
Read full storyEliot Spitzer and the Illegal Alien Driver's Licenses for Sex Scandal
If you have committed some act in the past couple of weeks that has been weighing heavy on your conscience, and you are an ardent believer in Karma, you may get a reprieve from the equatable "what goes around comes around" punishment you ma...
Read full storyAl Qaeda Open Garden Centre
Financially troubled terror organisation Al Qaeda are hoping to raise their flagging fortunes with the opening of their new garden centre in the small English town of Tipton.
Read full storyDr. Edward Maxwell Hospitalized Due to Adverse Reaction to Turd Stories.
Forum contributor and would be spoof writer, Dr. Edward Maxwell, was rushed to the hospital earlier today. It seems that Dr. Maxwell passed out on his bathroom floor due to severe abdominal pains.
Read full storyThird suspicious top cop 'suicide' in one week
Sandbanks, Dorset - (Co-incidental Mess): A third senior UK police officer was been found 'suicided' today following Monday's myserious death of Sgt Jim Bergerac, Camilla's head of security, and Manchester Police chief Mike Todd on Tu...
Read full storyVital Bush-era questions answered as Hustler signs Spitzer call girl for $5 million centerfold
New York - (Bare Ass Mess): Key political mysteries of the 21st century are about to be revealed with Hustler magazine's announcement today that it has signed a $5 million 10-page centerfold deal with Gov Spitzer's call girl Ashley A...
Read full storyAlien Abducted By Humans
39 year old, Vzzt, is recovering in hospital after claiming to have been abducted by so-called 'humans'. The father of 297 minomotz says that he was innocently going about his business when all of a sudden an...
Read full storyFlorida to Redo 2000 Elections
Due to the controversy of the Democratic Primary in 2008, the State of Florida has announced that the 2000 Presidential Election will be redone in June.
Read full storySpitzer, Jennifer Aniston nearly Entangled in Real-Life "Honeymoon in Vegas"
HOLLYWOD -- According to friends close to Jennifer Aniston, the famous actress was "solicited for a rendezvous" by Eliot Spitzer in what would have been a real-life version of the 1992 movie Honeymoon in Vegas.
Read full storyJohn McCain Angrily Denounces John McCain
Tempe, AZ - Presidential candidate John Sidney McCain angrily denounced Washington insiders and politicians in Congress, such as Senator McCain of Arizona.
Read full storyAlistair Darling Denied Use of Shoe Polish as Makeup
Two weeks ago, Anthony McNicoll, reporter of News of the World, broke the news that Alistair Darling, the Chancellor of Exchequer, has been using shoe polish as makeup to "enhance his manly brows." Not to be outdone, the Sun, on the followi...
Read full storyCreepy Argentinean Gnome to Appear on Dancing With The Stars
The YouTube phenom "Creepy Gnome" has signed a deal for an undisclosed six-figure amount to appear on ABC's Dancing with the Stars. The half-pint hoofer caused an international buzz when he was captured on video emerging from some brush...
Read full storyCats Found to be Clean-Burning Fossil Fuel Alternative
Egypt - Scientists in Egypt working on the creation of a synthetic, clean burning fuel to replace fossil fuels in aid of reversing global warming discovered a solution after accidentally set fire to one of the laboratory's pet cats. They found t...
Read full storyMissing Canoeist Goes Missing Again
John Darwin, the canoeist who went missing for 5 years before turning up again at a London police station four months ago, has gone missing again.
Read full storyBarnstaple residents' disgust amid Jackson reports
Devon - (Ass Mess): "This is not some fetid sleazebag sex tourism hell-hole like Los Angeles but a beautiful, unspoilt holiday destination," a Barnstaple Rotary Club source complained today.
Read full storyLack Of Bridgend Hangings Means Town Is Improving, Says WTB
A distinct lack of any significant hangings in the Welsh town of Bridgend recently, is an indicator of just how far the town has come in such a short space of time, and how safe and idyllic
Read full storyApple Introduces Latest in I Technology
Apple Inc. CEO Steve Jobs announced today the latest additions to Apple's line of industry-leading entertainment technology.
Read full storyScientists Pinpoint Number One Cause of Climate Change; Blame the Animals, They Say
BERLIN--Next time you are complaining about the abnormal sweltering heat or that late season winter storm, don't blame yourself for driving that gas guzzling SUV or voting Republican. Rather, blame your dog.
Read full storyMedia Honors Spitzer with "Embattled" Moniker
NEW YORK (Heewack News Network)-- Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer (D), whose escapades with a high-priced prostitute forced him to resign in disgrace, has earned the highly coveted "embattled" moniker from the nation's media.
Read full storyFuture American Idol David Archuleta faints amidst rumours of conspiracy
Los Angeles: American Idol contestant and future American Idol David Awwww-chuleta has already won many talent contests, regional as well as national, but the 17 year old still seems to be unaccustomed to all the media attention tha...
Read full story75% of teenage girls show no signs of STD's. Bush's 'abstinence only' education proven effective.
The Centers for Disease Control proudly unveiled statistics today proving that 75% of teenage girls show no signs of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). President George W. Bush proclaims that the figures represent a triumph for his "abstinen...
Read full storyI, ET McCrone Would Like to Be NYS Guuuvena!
Dear Supporter, With the Guuuvana of NYS bringin disgrace to the good peeple o dat county, I cannot help but expand me candidacy from Prezminister of the USUK to now Guuuvena of NYS. From what I, ET McCrone has heard York new is now as fucked as York old. And so I, ET McCrone, litevator operator from York to New and on to Tucson, Arizona wants to be, York New , Your New York Guuvena.
Read full storyAncient brain surgery rediscovered in Greece
Today's headline news out of Europe reports of archaeologists discovering an ancient skeleton of a young woman in the Greek city of Veria that apparently underwent a medical procedure known as trepaning (or trephining).
Read full storyArnold "The Gropenator" Demands a Recount!
As Eliot "The Whoremaster" Spitzer is being widely declared the Governor of sexsual perversion. Arnold held a news conference at the Playboy mansion with Hugh Hefner at his side.
Read full storyAA Dupre Says: Hillary, Not Me, Is Monster!
Ashley Alexandra Dupre insists that "balling" the NYS Governor for the past year does not make her a monster. On the contrary, AA Dupre, named after the support group her entire family was attending when she was accidentally conceived in th...
Read full storyMiss Piggy Revealed as One of Spitzer's Girls
Miss Piggy, of 'Muppets' fame has been outed as one of Gov. Eliot Spitzer's high priced call girls.
Read full storyPimp Daddy Spitzer Spits Governorship Back at Ungrateful NYS!
Pimp daddy, Eliot Spitzer, tells NYS citizens that they do not deserve the stud muffin of a governor that he is, was and will be no llloooonnnnggggeeerrrr! Whoremaster Spitzer reveled in the fact that he has been procuring and pandering for all m...
Read full storyGinger Denounces Mary Ann's Drug Abuse
Tina Louise, better known as 'Ginger' from 'Gilligan's Island', issued a statement today denouncing fellow cast mate, Dawn Wells', aka Mary Ann, drug abuse. Louise, calling from Hollywood's famous 'Home for Aged Actors...
Read full storyHamburglar banged to rights
FBI investigators have finally caught up with Hamburglar after a 33 year hunt.
Read full story3.2 Million Teen Girls Dirty Little Ho'bags
About 1 in 4 teenage girls, in the United States, have had at least one sexually transmitted disease according to a recent study released by the CDC.
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