Hamburglar banged to rights

Funny story written by Bertrand Sedgley-Smythe

Thursday, 13 March 2008

image for Hamburglar banged to rights
Hamburglar was consuming more than 10 of these a day

FBI investigators have finally caught up with Hamburglar after a 33 year hunt.

Wanted in connection with a spate of burger thefts between 1974 and 1989, Hamburglar, 56, was arrested on Wednesday at his flat in Essex, UK, and detained to face questions pending charges.

The FBI received an anonymous tip off that he was working in a Wimpy Bar in Southend, UK. After a seven week surveillance operation, they followed him home from work one night and arranged for local police to arrest him.

Mr Wimpy, head of the worldwide burger franchise that rivals McDonalds, stated: "I can't believe I gave that thieving sod a job. Now I think of it, the mask, stripey costume and swag bag do actually give it away a bit. And I've been down on stock recently, so I suppose the tea leaf has been helping himself to Wimpy Kingsize's and Quarterpounders with cheese."

Ronald MacDonald, who became friends with Hamburglar towards the end of their working relationship, declined to comment.

Hamburglar is being remanded in custody and now faces extradition to the US. It is expected Mayor McCheese will be appointed as judge.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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