Media Honors Spitzer with "Embattled" Moniker

Funny story written by Heewack

Thursday, 13 March 2008

NEW YORK (Heewack News Network)-- Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer (D), whose escapades with a high-priced prostitute forced him to resign in disgrace, has earned the highly coveted "embattled" moniker from the nation's media.

The embattled Spitzer is the first public official to earn the "embattled" title since former embattled attorney general Alberto Gonzales, who held the title for a record one year and four months.

Media officials noted that its honoring the embattled Spitzer came a bit late, but was deserving nonetheless.

"The whole embattled Spitzer incident was just a whirlwind," said former ABC correspondent Sam Donaldson, a member of the Gridiron Club Embattling Committee. "It all played out nearly before we were ready to act."

However, the committee noted that the embattled Spitzer's hesitation in resigning immediately gave them the opening to "effectively apply the 'embattled' mark. Only with the threat of impeachment did the embattled Spitzer agree to step down."

The career of the embattled Spitzer, once considered a rising star in New York and national politics, collapsed in a heap following evidence that the embattled Spitzer had engaged the services of a $4,300 a night hooker and paid for the hooker's transportation to Washington, where he was preparing to testify before Congress. Allegations also suggest that the embattled Spitzer had spent "thousands" previously on hookers.

Police investigations identified the embattled Spitzer as "Client Number 9." A spokesman for the FBI said the agency is considering changing that identification to "the embattled Client Number 9."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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