Wimbledon Tennis "Fix" Claim

Funny story written by Earl Grey

Monday, 23 June 2008

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Andrew Murray: Confused

The world of tennis was rocked today when it was claimed that Wimbledon was fixed.

For many years, spectators believed that the British players were unlucky. Now it can be revealed that the results were fixed - British players were deliberately drawn against foreign players who were much better than they were.

Former British number 1 and plucky looser Tim Henman said "I always thought it was unfair. Some of these guys really hit the ball quite hard. I was always worried in case I got hurt".

Former Wimbledon champion Virginia Wade said "We need another big national event to coincide with Wimbledon and then we might stand a chance. But I've heard that foreigners pay a large amount of cash to be drawn against the British".

It is thought that when the draw is made British players are being kept apart from each other. This means that they have little chance to win. Wimbledon fortnight has been renamed Wimbledon half hour in response.

Andrew Murray, talented young player and Henman's successor as plucky looser today tried to unite British support. "I'm one quarter English, two quarter's Scottish. one quarter Welsh and five eighths Irish" said a confused Murray.

Fred Perry is 250 years old.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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