Yekaterinburg, Russia - (Ass Mess): Holy crap. Russia's first ever self-made horseshit billionaire has spent his latest ill-gotten gains acquiring Donald Trump's Palm Beach Maison d'Illusions de Grandeur condo for $100 million.
Dim-Eatery Rybolovlev, 69, made his fortune peddling juicy crap (aka petrochemicals counter-intelligence) to wily oligarchs betting on the price of crude earlier this year.
He told Florida realtors he was flush with cash following a recent surge on the Moscow horseshit exchange and 'knew class when he saw it', promptly handing over $50 million more than the asking price so as not to appear stupid by Trump's standards.
The Donald bought the 5,000 sq metre beachfront condo in a fire sale for $2.5 million in 2004 while feeling 'gutted' following his latest divorce.
He then put the neocolonial style mock Tudorbethan pile on the market after reports from the Florida Coastguard Advance Hurricane Agency placed the property slap bang in the middle of a landslip zone.
Rybolovlev became rich beyond his wildest dreams when the price of crude surged to $139 a barrel and immediately acquired the 30 bedroom, nine swimming pool and 120-car garage pile after a tip-off from Russian Prime Monster Vladimir Putin.
A housewarming party will take place this Saturday.
