Infallible latex Pope doll starts lactating
Las Vegas - (Gestating Mess): A Las Vegas casino's 50ft latex papal effigy mascot offering gamblers infallible advice has suddenly begun seeping a milky substance from its manboobs after a grateful grope by a delighted roulette winner.
Read full storyPolitically Corrective Surgical Techniques Developed
Washington DC, July 19, 2008: American medical research and technology have always been at the forefront of pioneering new methods of saving lives. No area of medicine is as important as developing Politically Corrective (PC) Surgical techniques.
Read full storyGreg Norman wins Open and thanks viagra
Veteran Golfer Greg Norman, 52, is on the verge of winning the most prestigious title in golf and puts it down to his love of the recreational drug Viagra.
Read full storyAl Gore offers reward to anyone who can get him to keep his big mouth shut about reducing carbon omissions
Washington, DC - Affectionately known as "Big Mouth Al" among his Chicken Little environmentalists and liberal Hollywood friends, Al Gore recently called on America to reduce carbon emissions by challenging our nation to commit to producing...
Read full storyJessica Simpson apologizes for "wardrobe malfunction" on USO tour
Singer and actress Jessica Simpson issued a statement today adamantly denying claims that she purposely exposed her breast to U.S and British military personnel during a recent concert appearance on the military's USO tour in Kuwait.
Read full storyGordon Ramsay Accused Of Breaking Federal Trade Commission Act 1914
Gordon Ramsay, the famous British TV chef, has come under fire from customers at his one of his New York restaurants who claim that he served food that broke the rules of the Federal Trade Commission Act 1914.
Read full storyDoherty: "I am not a tosser"
In a rare and coherent statement issued today, Pete Doherty informed the public, "I am not a tosser".
Read full storyPentagon announces formation of United States morale corps
Washington - Today Pentagon officials announced the formation of the newest branch of military service, The United States Morale Corps. Joining the Coast Guard, Navy, Marines, Air force, and Army, the Morale corps will provide members of the other se...
Read full storyBush's extreme White House makeover is making Obama's campaign promises come true months early
Washington, DC - Meeting with Iran for direct talks, pledging to shore up Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac with liquidity to stabilize the failing mortgage market and now agreeing to a time line on U.S. troop withdrawal from Iraq, Bush's extreme White Hous...
Read full storyGeorge Bush resigns after signing major league baseball contract
President George W. Bush resigned today after revealing he has signed a 3 year 4 million dollar contract with the St Louis cardinals.
Read full storyCollege Student "Probably Playing With Himself in There"
Overley College freshman Bill Joeleton has "just about had it" with his roommate, Dave Forsart and his "constant hanging of a tie on the door." Joelton explained that the two of them agreed to hang a tie on the doorknob when eithe...
Read full storyGas bills 'top 1,000 a year'
London - (Ass Mess) Soaring gas bills are being blamed today for 1,000 people topping themselves every year.
Read full storyAnheuser-Busch merger with InBev sparks riots
Hundreds of multi-colored 1980's T-top Camaro's, rusty pickup trucks and Mullet wearing trailer park folks have packed the streets of St Louis after Anheuser-Busch Announced its intent to Merge with InBev. Angry mobs have been protesting ou...
Read full story'Daniel Radcliffe Is Shorter In Real Life' Says Emma Watson
Emma Watson, child star of the 'Harry Potter' films reveals all about the time that Daniel Radcliffe,18, tried to 'seduce her.
Read full storySweet revenge for Keegan as FA admits Sven lookalike impostor fooled them from 2002 World Cup onwards
London - ('Erewego, 'Erewego, 'Erewego Mess): Vindicated at last! Former England football manager Kevin Keegan is feeling 'right pleased with himself' today.
Read full storyWorld Recession Is Here (Apart From Arab Countries!)
Share prices have been falling again today and in the US, Europe and Japan they have fallen to record lows. It looks like a recession is just around the corner everywhere apart from the ARABIC COUNTRIES which are doing really well thank you! In th...
Read full storyNoel Fielding To Shave Head
Noel Fielding, co-creator of 'The Mighty Boosh' is to shave his head for charity.
Read full storyEnvironmentalists Put the 'Mental' in Environmental
L.A., California - The attention whores, the environmentalists, are at it again-another proclamation from the global warming propagandists. Al Gore, the mastermind behind the apocalyptic hype on the environment, has now confirmed the noble truth: e...
Read full storyRecently Qualified First-Aider Longing for Workplace Emergency
A week after completing a three day government-approved training course in Corporate First Aid and Health and Safety, Jeff Birks, a Junior Credit Controller for InfoTech Systems Inc., expressed frustration that he had yet to be called into action.
Read full storyKarl Rove Named New Presidential Envoy to Paraguay
Washington, D.C. - Embattled former Bush advisor Karl Rove held an impromptu teleconference this morning form his new office somewhere in northern Paraguay. Sweating profusely, Mr. Rove appeared to be delivering his announcement from inside a small m...
Read full storyJohn McCain's Dark Knight Is Dirty Harry
(Washington, D.C.) "The night is always darkest before the dawn." So begins Harvey Dent's observation on Gotham City's crime spree in "The Dark Knight". And it's the same beginning for a press release...
Read full storyMcCain - Iran has weapons of Mass Destruction
Desperate republican hopeful senator John McCain has come forward with a 'Dodgy looking' dossier of what he claimed were CIA documents showing that "Iran could wield weapons of mass destruction in only 22.5 minutes that's half the ti...
Read full storyDemi Lovato and Joe Jonas involved in a love triangle!
Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas, stars of Camp Rock, have been entangled in a love triangle! This love triangle started when, Demi and Joe made sparks fly during filming, then suddenly a Christopher R. Hafman, shoots out of nowhere and starts wooing Demi,...
Read full storyNicole Kidman Appears In Hot New YouTube Video Stroking Her Pussy
A sensational video of Hollywood actress Nicole Kidman stroking her pussy has appeared on the YouTube web site.
Read full storyCanada joins Axis of Evil
Toronto (CNN) - Tired of being perceived as Americas Side-kick Canada has petitioned to join the Axis of Evil. Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper stated "we need to toughen up our image and becoming a member of the Axis of Evil is a great fi...
Read full storyThanks to Prime Minister, bucket and spade shortage threatens
Thanks to the announcement by Prime Minster Gordon Brown of his intention to take a "bucket and spade" holiday in Suffolk, there have been reports of a national shortage of buckets and spades.
Read full storyToppers Convention in Crisis
The World Convention of Toppers (WCT) in The Hague has fallen into difficulties as delegates fail to agree on the fundamentals of the organisation. The WCT was to be the first worldwide gathering of people who always lay claim to have done things be...
Read full storyDwain Chambers To Become A High Court Judge
In an astonishing turn of events, British 100m sprinter Dwain Chambers has told of his plans to pursue a career in the judiciary, and has set his sights on becoming the first Black Drugs Cheat judge.
Read full storyLondon Knife Fighters Unit to Be Deployed !
British war accomplishments since the defeat of the Hun over fifty years ago have been hard to come by. If you don't count their overwhelming defeat of the Falkland Island penguins, you don't have much to talk about.
Read full storyMan City Athletic Supporters Eat Whale Nob!
Twelve Man City Athletic Supporters were stranded in the Shetland Islands where the only penis to eat is from the very tiny ponies. The Sun, Periodical to the Perverts, saved the ponies from extinction or at least mass castration by rescuing the supe...
Read full storySJP's Mole At Large and Dangerous!
Sara Jessica Parker of Sex in the City infamy reported that the mole she had removed at her Madison Ave Plastic Surgeon, Tits Enlargo has taken on a life of its own.
Read full storyAmish Hybrid Vehicles to Take Over
Sizerville Pennsylvania - Amish cattle breeder Abe Withoos proudly announced a new hybrid vehicle today that he says will "Take over da roads of America, Yar!"...
Read full storyFDA says: "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" to cease hostilities for now as Sub-Commander George Clooney signs Armistice
Hollywood, California - The "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" seems to be over for now, says the FDA as they have successfully reached an armistice with their leader sub-commander, George Clooney.
Read full storySound Bite Distortions
Washington DC, July 17, 2008: Presidential candidates Senator Barack Obama and Senator John McCain agreed today to challenge any quoted sound bite distortions and half truths employed by the media, during the rest of the campaign.
Read full storyTheSpoof .com Point Counting Methodology, Appendages
United Kingdom, July 2008: The Managers and Editors of TheSpoof, wish to inform the writers contributing material to this publication of appendages to the point counting system now in place. This step has been taken to level the playing field for all writers, so to speak.
Read full storyJesse Jackson Confesses: Profanity was Preparation for "George Carlin Titillating Tribute"
(New York) American civil rights activist Jesse Jackson today admitted to recent vulgarites, but claimed "I was just trying material for my George Carlin titillating stand-up comedy tribute", scheduled for Friday at Duke's Fuqua School...
Read full story