The Black Report
Dallas TX, 11 July 2008: Dallas County Commissioner John Wiley Price is sticking to his June 2008 comments that the term "black hole," which a colleague used, is racist. Price also says language such as "angel food cake" and "...
Read full storyThe 'Political song' and 'Pink'
To me the political song is both comical and frustrating. I just don't understand why someone would think "right, I am opposing to something so shall I actually do something to stop it…no I think I will write a song about it".
Read full storyFilm faults reveled
Film buff Roach Brogan's new book has finally been released after five years of research including analysis of Hitchcock's diaries.
Read full storyLord Mulcher is not crazy
Despite claims to the contrary Lord Mulcher policy director of The Soiled Association has been found to be 'quite sane' says Dr John Brain of GM Free Cymree.
Read full storyBig Brother's Belinda Kicked Out For Racist Abuse
Big Brother's irritating nasal jazz fraud Belinda (Belinda, Belinda) has been kicked out of the house following allegations of racist abuse levelled by mock-Italian Mario Marconi, real name Cyril Twaddlethorpe, from Manchester.
Read full storyGeneral Public Warned About Explosive Bunny Rabbit
In a genetic experiment gone awry, a GM-positive white bunny rabbit, affectionally named Cuddles by the team that produced him, has gone missing from a high-security Government-funded facility located deep in Hampshire's New Forest region.
Read full storyGordon Brown and David Cameron to decide next Prime Minister title in boxing ring
In a unbelievable attempt to bolster Parliamentary popularity, current Prime Minster Gordon Brown - already woefully overstaying his welcome with another round of tax hikes, most recently on cars registered before 2001 - has come up with a completely...
Read full storyHearing Aids Make You Deafer
After conducting a series of experiments in my top secret base [Just outside of Barnsley, I have discovered that hearing aids designed to aid hearing are in fact making it worse.
Read full storyWorld's First "Content-Free Art" To Premier In Stockholm
It seems that trash TV and reality shows just aren't enough for some people. Richard Glossip, noted English philanthropist and business opportunist, is now going to present the world with a shocking new theatre concept he is calling "Conten...
Read full storyAlan Carr Secretly Straight
Muched loved comedian Alan Carr has always been known to be gay. Now after spotting him on a night out, I have proof (well, not the type that would stand up in court, just my own fevered rantings) that this is nothing but an act.
Read full storyHip-Hop Stars To Resurrect Elvis And Sinatra In Planned 'Posthumous Collaboration'
In continuation of a popular hip-hop trend, ghetto kids made good Ice-T and Coolio are planning a download-only project track which will marry the King of Rock and Roll with Ol' Blue Eyes himself Frank Sinatra. In an exclusive phone interview fr...
Read full storyCaroline Kennedy Fired After Racial Altercation With Michelle Obama
Philadelphia PA-- Caroline Kennedy was abruptly fired today after a searing racial confrontation with Michelle Obama.
Read full storySeth MacFarlane To Colorize The Moon Using Human Feces
Seth MacFarlane has never been a man to take himself too seriously. The 34-year-old Family Guy creator and voice actor enjoys lampooning popular culture so much, he's now planning to take his satirical and scatalogical blend of humour to new ext...
Read full storyWhere Will They Be In 15 Years Time?
At the moment Hollywood is filled with rising stars who aren't even old enough to drink. Kids like Miley Cyrus and Dakota Fanning are children who who have become household names, but has anyone wondered what their future will hold?...
Read full storyBastille Day shockhorror for Joseph Fritzl-gag French president
Paris - (Merde Alors Mess): An Interpol DNA swab is set to unmask yet another hideous Bonapartist/Nazi collaboration cover-up on Bastille Day naming President Nicholas Sarkozy as Austrian incest nutter Joseph Fritzl's 'forgotten' son.
Read full storyMaster of disguise finally caught after 400 costume changes
Disguise artist Ernik Jugland (thought to be responsible for the recent Sherlock Holmes sightings) has finally been caught by police after a 5-day chase in which he used up 400 disguises.
Read full storyNew i-Phone a disaster
Must-have numpties throughout the UK, queuing for the newly-released Apple i-Phone, received a shock today when many of them, having spent days waiting in the pouring rain, found they couldn't have one due to credit processing problems.
Read full storyTelevision for the future - from the past
The BBC has released hundreds of old, previously unseen documents and records into the public domain.
Read full storyCristiano. My Story: The Day In The Life Of A Slave
I wake up to the defening noise of a brash Scot. "Get those balls out there, those boots need cleaning, wheres my morning tipple?" He bellows. I try to block it out by humming my favourite music, Swan Lake. He bursts through the door "Theres ye wages ya scumbag, but ya barely erned it!". The envelope of money nearly hits me, just misses but I go down anyway in hope of some symp...
Read full storyCheryl Cole Cheats With Wayne Rooney
Cheryl Cole, recently seen patching things up with love rat husband Ashley Cole has gotten her own back by sleeping with Ashleys team-mate Wayne Rooney in a dream I had last night.
Read full storyGordon Ramsey backs youth knife culture
As the number of knife attacks increase in the UK, celebrity chef Gordon F Ramsey has come to the defence of youths involved.
Read full storyBig Brother Mario Isn't Really Called Mario
Big Brother viewers last night voted to evict one of the show's most boring contestants ever, in the form of hunky Mario Marconi, the 43-year-old former stripping policeman from Warrington in Cheshire.
Read full storyFreddie Mac And Fannie Mae Collapse; Bush Speaks Out
There was shock and astonishment in the New York's Wall Street financial sector yesterday, as two of its most renowned and important figures, Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae took a tumble, prompting US President Georg...
Read full storyDoctor Who Dalek Creator Raymond Cusick Hurt In Incident With Bin
Dalek creator Raymond Cusick has been injured in an incident with a dustbin at his home in London. Mr Cusick was 'bundled over' by his bin when he tried to put some trash in it yesterday morning.
Read full storyFear of War with Iran = Oil Profits
There are many factors contributing to the skyrocketing price of oil. Demand has far outstripped supply and the weak dollar is certainly not helping. But, economists are realizing that a new formula can be used to predict a portion of the price rise.
Read full storySpanish Armada Sails on England
Heartened by recent Euro 2008 and Wimbledon triumphs Spain has set its sights on conquering England as its next prize.
Read full storyHillary Is Politically Courting Obama for the Black Robe of a Supreme Court Justice
If you think there's true political love between Obama and Hillary, think again. Sources close to Ms. Clinton, now sixty, are leaking information that Hillary's new ploy is to make sure Obama gets the Presidency.
Read full storyBush Nominated for Nobel Prize
U.S. President George W. Bush is on the short list for receiving the 2009 Nobel Prize in Physics according to reports from the Nobel commission. If Mr. Bush is awarded the prize, it will no doubt for his past contributions to the field of quantum un...
Read full storyMiracles Attributed to Newly Discovered Last Turd
In a story reported yesterday, a piece of human feces that was purportedly the last bowel movement of Jesus Christ was discovered in a cave in Nazareth. Reporter Du...
Read full storyCell Phone Kidnapped and Held For Ransom
Springfield PA--Dianne Giblet burst into tears today after an afternoon filled with drama. She was just reunited with her kidnapped cell phone. The phone was taken earlier in the day. FBI agent Dana Scully-Mulder was credited with solving the crime.
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