Paris - (Merde Alors Mess): An Interpol DNA swab is set to unmask yet another hideous Bonapartist/Nazi collaboration cover-up on Bastille Day naming President Nicholas Sarkozy as Austrian incest nutter Joseph Fritzl's 'forgotten' son.
The DNA match tested positive after French spooks probed Sarkozy's Hungarian ancestry claims, discovering his Budapest-born father Pal Sarközy de Nagy-Bocsa was a eunuch.
The investigation also exposed Sarkozy's French Catholic/Greek Jewish mother Andrée Mallah's 1954 fling with a young former Austrian fugitive SS officer shortly before the Vatican gave him succour in a St Peter's Square hideyhole close to the Catacombs.
Fritzl was eventually repatriated to his native Austria after mastering ancient masonic tunnelling arts under a KGB mole responsible for excavating a wartime Nazi subterranean network close to Haut de la Garenne in Jersey.
Sarkozy's 16 May 2007 self-aggrandization to the title of Co-Prince of Andorra has now emerged as an Opus Dei deal between wingnut Gaullist factions and Pope Joe Ratzinger.
The regal elevatation gave Sarkozy dominion over rival Andorran claims via the 1278 Treaty of Joint Suzerainty brokered by the Catalan Bishop of Urgell and the Occitan Cunt of Foix.
A subsequent duumvirate [alliance between two equally corrupt political/military leaders] with George W Bush ensured the cosy arrangement was kept from CIA top brass.
A spokesman for NATO military inteligence said today:
"Dum-virate? Doesn't even begin to decribe the asshole arrangement."
Formidable.
