Written by Gary Diamond

Saturday, 12 July 2008

image for World's First "Content-Free Art" To Premier In Stockholm
Ars gratia artis

It seems that trash TV and reality shows just aren't enough for some people. Richard Glossip, noted English philanthropist and business opportunist, is now going to present the world with a shocking new theatre concept he is calling "Content-Free Art".

Inspired by the internet age, where even bloggers and people who take thousands of photos of themselves can become overnight celebrities (and just as quickly fade into wretched obscurity, to be ridiculed for as long as they are remembered), Glossip seeks to give people a much needed jolt.

"What we are doing with this is very simple. People think that reality television is the pinnacle of realism, when in fact it is not. The quality of popular culture is in gradual decline, with great artists of worth and merit being buried under the quagmire of poor quality, but highly marketable, filth."

Glossip makes no secret of his intentions. Within minutes he is informing TheSpoof.com that he throughly expects anyone foolish enough to part with their money to see his new production to be completely unsatisfied, to the point of wanting to rip his face off with their bare hands, or perhaps running over it repeatedly with an eighteen-wheeler freight truck.

"I want people to scream out in the silence I will create for them. I want them to realise that they do not have to put up with what they are spoon-fed."

When pressed further about what the show might contain, TheSpoof.com was informed that the show was not about content - as implied by the genre title - but about the lack of it. Glossip, easily provoked, provided a more elaborate description of what patrons can expect, though he guarantees nothing, except for the fact that no refunds will be given under any circumstances.

"There will be an orchestra. The orchestra will tune up, but it may not play a note. There will be video screens around the theatre. We shall be sending transmission test signals through the screens to verify they are operational, but we may not feed any kind of imagery through them. What we will do is invite people to take control of the equipment, perhaps storm the stage and attempt to defocate in the trombone. We want to provoke a reaction that will get them thinking."

Glossip went on to provide TheSpoof.com with a shortened take on his ethos.

"I want to convince people that they shouldn't just sit in their chairs staring at dull entertainment that parades around in flashy colours and stimulating music but offers no real content. I seek to do this by removing all stimuli, informing the audience that the show is about getting a reaction from them. They shouldn't be sitting in that chair, they should be throwing it at their televisions in protest."

Glossip, allegedly mentally unstable, is also said to be under armed police supervision constantly. Nevertheless, his new show will be debuting in Stockholm's legendary Aleskla theatre for twelve days, with the initial performance scheduled for August 25th. Book now to avoid disappointment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Art, Rubbish

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