Written by Gary Diamond

Saturday, 12 July 2008

image for Gordon Brown and David Cameron to decide next Prime Minister title in boxing ring

In a unbelievable attempt to bolster Parliamentary popularity, current Prime Minster Gordon Brown - already woefully overstaying his welcome with another round of tax hikes, most recently on cars registered before 2001 - has come up with a completely unhinged plan to ensure he keeps his position as most overpaid yet least-skilled man in Britain.

He wants to fight David Cameron in a boxing ring, shirts off and gloves on, and he wants YOU to come down to Hyde Park to see it.

Announced yesterday, Gordon Brown shocked all of Parliament with his strange suggestion. However, the idea was approved and now preparations are being made for the fight, which will be scheduled shortly after Parliament returns from it's yearly undeserved 11-week hiatus. Questioned by Spoof at his Downing Street home, Gordon Brown seemed overly confident.

"Cameron's a soft touch. I've sparred with Darling a couple of times now and if I can put that little man on his back within one round, I'm sure it'll take me only a couple more to see that Cameron stays down for the count."

Contrary to previous tactics, Brown is willing to fight fair in this instance.

"Well, what with our usual long holiday coming up, whereby we usually jet around the world at the taxpayers expense, I decided this time perhaps we should try and give them their moneys worth. 11 weeks gives me and Cameron plenty of time to train, and also gives us plenty of time to promote the fight so the whole world knows about it."

David Cameron seemed unusually quiet on the subject.

"I've campaigned long and hard to become the Prime Minister because I think the Conservative government can save the country from the brink of recession and potential civil war. Stepping into a ring to win the title was not what I had in mind."

The fight will be set up as if it were a professional boxing match, with a referee and judges as normal. A stage for the match will be erected in Hyde Park a week in advance, complete with seating for the first twenty rows. Although judges and a referee will be present, phone-in votes from registered voters will also be considered. Whoever wins the fight will, therefore, take control of the country.

Whatever happens, Spoof hopes that this fight will go the distance unlike the conspiciously short Khan Vs. Gomez bout seen recently. Let's hope 'Brownie' does a better job in the ring than out of it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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