Taliban Starts U.S. Evangelical Rightist Branch
The Taliban, recognizing the similarities between their doctrines and that of the Christian Right, have started an Evangelical Taliban branch in the U.S. Spokesman Tali Wozati stated "Although Christian fundamentalists are heathen dogs who will b...
Read full story"Governor' Blagojevich Really A Chicago 'Second City' Skit Performer
The joke was on us all. That crazy cut-up, Governor Rod Blagojevich, is really a secret member of the famous Chicago nightclub show Second City that introduced many famous comics like Steve Martin and John Candy to Hollywood. Blagojevich is the stage...
Read full storyChesterfield and Droylsden to play Friendly
Coca Cola League Two's Chesterfield and Conference North's Droylsden are to play a friendly. This news comes as a response to fans ironic chants of 'Can we play you every week' heard at the recent FA Cup 2nd round clashes. Over the recent FA Cup...
Read full storyHollywood Awards Soon Ready
Hollywood, California: The holidays may be winding down, but for Oscar fans, the season of celebration has just begun. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences mailed out 5,810 official Oscar nominations ballots to voting members this past Friday, and perhaps no one was more excited - or more daunted - to cast votes than its 105 newest members. Also, this year several new categories h...
Read full storyA Happy New Year from Israel
Today the people of Israel wished their Palestinian brethren a Happy New Year. Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert said: 'We've enjoyed the colourful rockets that Hamas have generously been sending us, to light up the sky for the last few weeks, an...
Read full storyHM The Queen arrested for punching Steven Gerrard
Earlier this morning, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth was arrested by West London Police for punching Liverpool football star Steven Gerrard. 'We had just given Mr. Gerrard an MBE at Buckingham Palace', she said, 'when he suddenly laughed at us, and s...
Read full storyMarijuana Plants Found Growing In White House
Washington DC-- Secret Service agents found six marijuana plants growing in a greenhouse at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue last week. The agents were alerted to the illegal plants after a sickly-sweet odour was noticed in the White House last month. The...
Read full storyU.S. Postal Facilities Find Creative Solutions For Lay-off Crisis
Post Offices across the U.S., faced with the necessity of laying off 40,000 employees, have come up with unique methods of accomplishing this goal. The administrators at the main distribution center in Denver, Colorado have set up a scam where...
Read full storyJade Goody Book-Signing Rally Attracts BNP Bookworms
Jade Goody of Essex, the person made famous by nothing more than her appearances on the Channel 4 Big Brother and Celebrity Big Brother programmes, has written a book - or rather, someone else wrote a book about her, and she sanctioned it with a nod.
Read full storyBlue Chip Company Reports Half-Year Loss
There was more doom and gloom on the financial markets this morning, as another blue-chip company, Blue Chips Worldwide, reported substantial half-year losses. The company, which makes those little blue chips that are used in gambling casinos, sai...
Read full storyDroylsden Copyrighted By Spoof Writer Monkey Woods
Following the farcical progress of the FA Cup tie between Droylsden, a dull Greater Manchester suburb, and Chesterfield, a dull Derbyshire town with a wonky church spire, Spoof writer Monkey Woods today announced that he had obtained sole marketing r...
Read full storySteven Gerrard Still Banged Up
Southport, Merseyside - Liverpool FC captain and England international Steven Gerrard remains in police custody following allegations of assault following events in a Southport nightclub. Contrary to earlier reports, it would appear that Gerrard w...
Read full storyCarole Malone collapses in on herself
JOURNALIST Carole Malone has collapsed in on herself forming a spiraling vortex of hate, according to reports. Colleagues say that The News of the World columnist Carole was sat at her desk reading this week's copy of Spicy magazine before emittin...
Read full storySteven Gerrard Arrested In Dispute Over Bill
England and Liverpool footballer Steven Gerrard has been arrested in Southport after an incident with a restaurant owner. Police were called to the Lounge Inn on Bold Street in Southport at 02.30am following the disturbance, which appears to have...
Read full storyBulimic WVV Epidemic
With the festive season well under way, it has transpired that bulimics are deliberately infecting themselves with the norovirus, otherwise known as the Winter Vomiting Virus. This incredibly aggressive virus begins with mild cold symptoms before...
Read full storySell your soul and get 7 wishes completely free!
HELL - If you thought that the global economic crisis was only affecting you, you were wrong. It seems even Lucifer, the devil himself is experiencing some problems of his own. Following the closure of retail giant Woolworths, 'Le Diablo' express...
Read full storyBristol Palin phantom pregnancy rumors shocker
Wasilla, Alaska - (ReUterus & Cunninglingus Ass Mess): The conception of whatever is gestating in Bristol Palin's fecund womb may have been 'ghosted' by a secret inseminator. That is the stark shocker doing the Yuletide rounds in Wasilla as pu...
Read full storyeBay Auctions Bonanza for Unwanted Xmas Gifts
Online auction website eBay is experiencing a post-Christmas business bonanza with people getting shut of unwanted Xmas gifts and other useless seasonal tat. However, all that glitters is not gold and many items are drawing no serious tenders. Suc...
Read full storyFormer Sex Kitten, Eartha Kit Put Down At 567
The woman once dubbed by Adam West as the "most exciting catwoman in the world" sultry actress Eartha Kitt is gone at 81. That's 567 in cat years. The Singer/actress and second Television's Catwoman Eartha netted herself two Emmys and a slew of To...
Read full storyRobbers forget loot in hotel job
Police in northern Idaho today arrested two men found leaving a hotel in the early hours of the morning with presumably a sackful of money. However the oddity of the situation starts here because the two petty thieves had also raided the Hotel's Chri...
Read full storyShoe and Awe Tactics from Hamas
The Gaza strip conflict between Hamas and the Israelis escalated dramatically overnight. The incessant bombardment suffered overnight in raids by Israeli warplanes provoked an angry response by Hamas leaders. Residents of Gaza unleashed the ful...
Read full storySteven Gerrard Nicked Over Night Club Assault Shennanighans
Liverpool FC Captain Steven Gerrard was reportedly arrested last night following allegations of assault in a Southport nightclub. Rumours that he was out drinking with fellow Liverpudlian Joey Barton have yet to be confirmed. The only informati...
Read full storyDroylsden receive marching orders...again!
FA cup villains Droylsden FC were dealt a second blow in 24 hours today as Prime Minister Gordon Brown confirmed that the town may be subject to expulsion from the UK. The town - whose football team was kicked out of the FA cup earlier today follo...
Read full storyDubai To Launch Huge Security Operation For David Beckham
When David Beckham appears for AC Milan in Dubai he will be surrounded by the biggest security operation ever undertaken by the state. 'We are determined to protect Mister Beckham,' said a Dubai security chappie. 'We will not tolerate bombings, sh...
Read full storyUFO Fleet Buzzes West Midlands
Reports coming from Halesowen in the West Midlands last night appeared to indicate that a huge UFO fleet performed a fly past of the area in a dramatic extra-terrestrial inspired lightshow. At about eight o'clock. Apparently. Local man, Mr S...
Read full storyStoke City Striker In BNP Confusion
Ricardo Fuller, the Stoke City striker given a straight red card for slapping one of his teammates during yesterday's 2-1 defeat at West Ham, has claimed that the incident arose out of an innocent case of mistaken identity, it has been reported. F...
Read full storyMost Idiotic Nuisance 999 Calls of 2008 Revealed
A Smegmadale Jewish priest, Rabbi Sheldon Scrunt, dialled 999 when staff at Manchester Airport's W H Smuts bookstore would not allow him to use the toilet, then subsequently shit kittens when the plods turned up and arrested him for making a nuisance...
Read full storySomali pirates unfurl Jolly Roger
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a blatant act of defiance, many of the Somali pirates cruising the Gulf of Aden have taken to flying the so-called "Jolly Roger," a black flag with skull and crossbones often identified with pirate stereotypes. They have also t...
Read full storyFulham's Clinty Dempsey Voted Best Breasteses in the PeeWee Premier Leagues
Clinty came through in the clutch and clutch they wanted to as Dempsey displayed his sweet boobies to Lampard and his Chelsea Chimichangas. Dempsey dumped in a tie goal and Chelsea's chances were jettisoned almost out of reach. Lampard explaine...
Read full storyJournal of Pie Eyed and Pie Eyedism Warns Young Rats
The JPEPEM, the Journal of Pie eyed and Pie Eyedism has published studies showing that laboratory rats who are drinking mates of scientific researchers are in serious danger of losing their memory of mazes unless alcohol is the prize at the end of th...
Read full storyNurse in the Boot: UK's New Healthcare Plan; Obama will Study
The waiting times in the British healthcare system have caused many to question the wisdom of socialized medicine. Many, that is, except Americans who have a capitalist medical system that makes doctors rich and most other people dead. An Edinbu...
Read full storyGOP blames questionable Obama parody CD on "Karaoke Joke Machine" glitch
Tokyo, Japan - The GOP just received delivery of their specially made to order Politically Correct Karaoke Joke machines from a manufacture in Japan, Tokyo Prefecture. They were intended to help them safeguard their members from making the terrible m...
Read full storyW and Lolly Bush to Open Texas Roadkill Restaurant and Taxidermy Parlor
Ex-presidents have milked their fame for millions and others have served the causes of needy humanity. When W was asked about his after the White House plans, he acted like he hadn't given it a moments thought. Then he and wifey Lolly burst out l...
Read full storyUS Warns Israelis: Killing Civilians has an American Copyright
In the same way that roquefort can only come from the caves of Roquefort where French elves make the awful cheese from bat offal and champagne cannot be called champagne unless it's made by French monks suffering from cham pagne which is the fake dis...
Read full storyTom Cruise Assassination Attempt Foiled
Hollywood - The Hollywood hills were rocked by an explosion last night reported to be an assassination attempt on the actor Tom Cruise. Cruise is unhurt and saved himself from certain death by jumping over a couch at the last second based on a premon...
Read full storyJesse Ventura Organizing Franken vs. Coleman "Senatorial Smackdown"
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - For nearly two months now, Al Franken and Norm Coleman have been locked in a virtual dead heat for a Minnesota Senate position. A long, drawn out recount has failed to settle the political stalemate in favor of either candidate, th...
Read full storyParis Hilton House Broken Into
Having her home broken into has left Paris Hilton so shaken it's beginning to effect her work and social life. "I just feel kinda dirty knowing this is like probably someone I know because they knew exactly where to look for my jewels and things.
Read full storyPub cricket team set world record - nearly
A remarkable ninth-wicket partnership of 8, the third best in pub cricket history, saw the Dog and Sausage establish an unlikely first-innings lead of 6 in Manchester. Brian Slogger was the last man to fall for a magnificent 4. The Slogger-le...
Read full storyMore Premier League Managers To Give Their Teams 'A Good Talking-to' On The Pitch At Halftime
Phil Brown may have started a trend at Hull City. The Tigers boss kept his players out on the pitch at halftime in their game at Manchester City last Saturday, so that he could give them a good rollicking, after a first-half capitulation had seen...
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