Paris Hilton House Broken Into

Funny story written by Bureau

Monday, 29 December 2008

image for Paris Hilton House Broken Into
"Like who'd thought they'd look under the mattress?"

Having her home broken into has left Paris Hilton so shaken it's beginning to effect her work and social life.

"I just feel kinda dirty knowing this is like probably someone I know because they knew exactly where to look for my jewels and things. You know, valuables.", Hilton told a reporter.

Upon further questioning Paris said the thief who broke into her mansion almost has to be somebody she knows because the burglar went right past everything in the front rooms and right to looking under her mattress.

"He even took the mattress tag. Now the police will arrest me again because they'll think that I tore it off."

According to cops, the intruder is believed to have entered through the front door of Hilton's Sherman Oaks house before ransacking Paris' bed, making off with an estimated $2 million in jewels.

"It was all on surveillance tape but I was so upset and, well, drunk, that I threw up on it."

"It's really really really really scary but they're doing like a huge investigation on this and we're going to catch this person. I just hope I haven't made a home movie with him."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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