Woolworths Sales Assistant Stripped Naked By Frenzied Bargain-Hunting Shoppers
As the curtain finally came down on 99 years of trading at Woolworths, police had to be called to a store in London, when one of the Woolies sales assistants became the target for a group of frenzied bargain-hunters who chased him around the store a...
Read full storyNational Lottery Ticket Scandal Latest
National Lottery operator Camelot has apologised to customers after a technical problem left lottery players across the country unable to buy their tickets as usual. The "network communications issue" had affected those wishing to buy tickets in s...
Read full storyOctopus Man Tries to Buy Obama Senate Seat with a Squid
NAGASAKI - The Octopus man was questioned by TheSpoof.com regarding an apparent case of Squid pro quo. The man attempted to trade a squid pickled in aspartame for Barack Obama's Senate seat. He made the mistake of offering the squid to Hillary Clin...
Read full storyClowns In Florida Told To Set Pies On "Piping Hot"
Orlando, Florida- In response to the Homeland Security Advisory status set by Secretary Michael Chernoff, Circus clowns at the Barnum and Baily/Ringling Brothers Circus were told to upgrade their pie defenses to a much higher level. Other clown...
Read full storyRosie O'Donnell to Shave Her Legs
Newark - Famous famous-person, Rosie O'Donnell has announced that she will publicly shave her legs at Coney Island on the fourth of July 2009. Rosie says this promises to be a big event as she has not bothered to shave her gams since cell phones were...
Read full storyBarack Obama is an American Citizen
Honolulu HI: Was President Elect Obama born here on August 4, 1961, that is the question? Obama's mother (American citizen) was born in Wichita KS USA and his father was born in Nyanza Province, Kenya Africa. Honolulu HI is the Western terminus o...
Read full storyRay Santilli alien autopsy footage 'hid Barack Obama's Roswell birth'
Groom Lake, Nevada - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Retro-engineered footage of Ray Santilli's seminal Area 51 alien autopsy video has uncovered Barack Obama's birth secrets according to SETI - Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence - organization sour...
Read full storyHaircut Freaks
Police in Toronto, Canada, had heard the rumors for some time and finally conducted a three-month-long undercover operation to see if they were true. A salon in town, The Sexy Hairstylists, reportedly offered several extras with haircuts. Depe...
Read full storyThe Old Bottom Line
According to a report in the local newspaper, a strip joint in Chester, England, is offering local businesses a new place to advertise: on dancers' butt cheeks. A spokesman for the Playbody Lounge said the ads are "a bit cheeky", but also a serio...
Read full storyAfghan Warlords Captivated by Viagra Falls
America's CIA has found a novel way to expand its business dealings with their fickle stable of aging despotic Afghan warlords - ensuring they receive copious supplies of the sex-enhancing drug Viagra to boost their flagging virility, according to a...
Read full storyBarack Obama - 'Made in America.'
Democratic national committee chairman Howard Dean has cast doubt on the validity and authenticity of the the U.S. Presidential election result during a radio interview with Boston's 96.9 WTKK outspoken and often controversial talkshow host Michael G...
Read full storyShattering the Myth of Barack O'Barmy's Origins
Born where, and to whom? What are his familial antecedents? His mother: reportedly an Irish-American white Atheist woggle weaver from Kansas (precisely the same place as another Wizard of Oz character: Dorothy, and her canine pal Toto). His father: reputedly a black Muslim Kenyan banana straightener, whom his mother divorced two years before he was born. His step-father: supposedly a Wah...
Read full storyPostmen's Union Decry Pet Attacks
Police do not take pet animal attacks on postal delivery workers seriously enough, irate union leaders told press hacks during their annual Christmas piss-up at Smegmadale's Fighting Dog and Pikey pub. The claim comes after postman Sheldon Scrunt...
Read full storyA Black Man's View of U.S. Holidays
Ogres, gargoyles, sorcerers, fairies, gremlins, trolls, elves, goblins, leprechauns, vampires, ghosts, unicorns, centaurs, werewolves, Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Frankenstein, the Easter Bunny, the Hamburglar, wicked witches, Martians, the Grinch, the Sand Man and the Grim Reaper. All are bunk creations, but no worse than fortunetellers, radio psychologists, TV Evangelists, numerologists, Tarot...
Read full storyHomework Failure Pupil Battered to Death
An Egyptian court has sentenced a schoolteacher to 300 hours of community service work for beating a pupil to death because he had not done his homework. Maths teacher Atilla bin Atwatt threw the 15 year-old schoolboy out of the third floor class...
Read full storyParis Hilton to unclug her nose
In a world exclusive, Paris Hilton will unclug her nose right here on the Spoof. She says that she has dreamt about this moment for a long time and can't wait for the occasion to come, hopefully sometime next year. Madame Hilton will bring along...
Read full storyIranian Anti-Christ Delivers Alternative Xmas Message
Allowing Iran's president to deliver Channel 4's Alternative Christmas Message has been judged by some government know-all's as 'the biggest media bollock dropped in 2008'. President Mahmoud Ah'madasmedad, in a repeat of his popular Tehran stand-up...
Read full storyPope Converts To Church Of The Flying Spaghetti Monster
Vatican City-- Pope Benedict XVI dismissed Catholicism on Christmas and resigned from the Holy See. The former pontiff said he was a 'Pastafarian' and recommended everyone follow The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. He said Christianity just...
Read full storySir Paul McCartney Buys Woolworths
There was joy across the Woolworths empire today, when the entire chain was the subject of a last-minute buy-out by the self-made multi-millionaire, and former Beatle, Sir Paul Mills-McCartney. Sir Paul, fresh from his divorce settlement with ex-w...
Read full storySanta suffers heart attack, lightens mood before surgery
ANCHORAGE, AK - Saint Nicholas suffered a massive coronary thrombosis near the end of a strenuous delivery schedule this Christmas. Ignoring his doctor's repeated advice to watch his diet, the jolly old elf loaded up on milk and cookies while en rou...
Read full storyFDA Approves Aspartame for Demummification of Pharaohs
WASHINGTON D.C. - Dr. Strangedeath of the FDA today announced that aspartame is approved for the demummification of mummies. Normally aspartame consumption is used to reduce the need for embalming material. Ironically, it can also be used to prod...
Read full storyDavid Beckham, Rio Ferdinand, Sol Campbell, David James, Wayne Rooney, Ashley Cole and Cristiano Ronaldo Come Out of the Closet
The FFA, the Footballer's Footballer's Association has announced that real Footballers can be gay as morning larks. David Beckham, Rio Ferdinand, Sol Campbell, David James, Wayne Rooney, Ashley Cole and Cristiano Ronaldo have all announced that they...
Read full storyCulture Sec'y Burnham Gets Wood
Burnham's woodie gave him warning that surfing the world wide web was not safe for man nor child alike. The Culture secretary found himself sailing along on a sunny day aboard the good ship Internet until quite by accident his bark encountered th...
Read full storyWaffles and Vomit Cartoon Outdraws Queen's Christmas Massage
Cartoon kings of animated entertainment on both sides of the Atlantic and even among the more literate from downunder, Vomit and Waffles, sprung a Christmas surprise on the media watchers amd the watchers of media including those who dwell in and on...
Read full storyBelated FEMA unit finally arrives in New Orleans
NEW ORLEANS, LA - More than 3 years after Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans, a FEMA unit pulled into the city's lower 9th Ward this Friday. They apologized for showing up so late, citing the weather and bad holiday traffic as contributing fac...
Read full storyBritons Are So Poor They Give Themselves Boxing Day Gifts
The world economic collapse has flooded John Bull's Island like Tennessee Toxic Ash Flood. Nary a family hasn't had to cut back in these hard times. Proof of this widespread hardship can be found in this year's Boxing day. Traditionally a time wh...
Read full storySamurai Senator Corker of TennaNissanasee Tried to Stop Up the Toxic Ash Tsunami
Corker who represents the Asian business interest in TennaNissanasee said that he was the first one to recognize the impending ash tsunami threatening the Asian car factories and the investments of his Japanese constituents: " That's why thoug...
Read full storyEconomic Crisis Pondered by Obama at Hawaiian Beachfront Mansion
"It appears as if we have exchanged a brainless President for a topless one !" gushed salivating paparrazi who caught Barry's washboard abs by the sea. Photos of the waterfront mansion nicknamed The Beach White House of Pain and the frolicking first...
Read full storySarah Palin Pardoned by Bush for Impersonating Him
Among the Bush Eleventh hour pardons have been an Iraqi cobbler, the ad man who thought a Mission Accomplished banner would be a good backdrop for Bush's aircraft victory declaration and the White House idea man that chose children's book, George the...
Read full storyAl-Qaida and The Taliban Join Forces and Destroy The Somali Pirates
MOGADISHU, Somalia - A high ranking Al-Qaida general has reported that Al-Qaida and The Taliban joined forces and have completely destroyed the Somali pirates. Newspaper reports coming out of Mogadishu reported that Al-Qaida and The Taliban leader...
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