The FFA, the Footballer's Footballer's Association has announced that real Footballers can be gay as morning larks. David Beckham, Rio Ferdinand, Sol Campbell, David James, Wayne Rooney, Ashley Cole and Cristiano Ronaldo have all announced that they will no longer closet their feelings about other footballers.
Beckham is reported to have told Ronaldo that he thinks he's pretty, pretty cool. Rio is said to have given Sol Campbell a room key and James, Rooney and Cole are believed to be setting up a threesome "investment firm " to keep their investments firm.
The FFA is encouraging racially prejudiced and homophobic fans to swear off racist and queer swear words. Stop throwing bananas, watermelon, fried chicken and anal beads have become the watch words of the day. The FFA has enlisted none other than Ali G to chastise rude footballers:
"RESPECT and if ya need to throw sumthin, deez wankas cood alwayz yooz some cundums. Rememba Ali's rool: Wrap dat tool... Peaze out!"
