Squirrels Become Farmers

Funny story written by marlowe

Friday, 21 September 2007

image for Squirrels Become Farmers
"No comment" says local insect

Scientists believe an extraordinary evolution is occurring in squirrels. They are evolving from opportunist scroungers to farmers.

They appear to be adapting their skills of burying nuts to other types of seeds and harvesting the resulting crop.

Little plots of wheat, corn and sugar beet have been found in corners of allotments and waste ground in the London Borough of Hackney.

Owners of the land swear they have not planted these crops. They say that families of squirrels have been seen hanging around these plots and appear to be picking out weeds.

They are convinced that the local squirrel population is getting together and organising themselves into agricultural and pastoral communities.

"This is scary", said Peter Danziger a local man. Scientists are watching the situation carefully. Prof. Paul Osculator (expert) said,

"At this rate of evolution we could see them moving into animal husbandry. Snail farms would be an obvious start. Exporting to France could be very lucrative for them. They could become self sufficient within a matter of a few years. It is fascinating."

A spokesman for Hackney Council said they are concerned as there may be planning consent issues.

No squirrels were available for comment.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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