Mount Polamar, California (IP) - Astronomers on this scientific campus have made direct optical observations of the outer planets engaged in the curious act of looking through a hole in the fence located at the outer edge of the solar system.
The International Astronomical Union (IAU) has sent an urgent telegram to the planets out there asking that they please remove themselves from in front of the hole so that the Hubble telescope can be used to peer through the hole so Earth's scientists can see what's on the other side.
Each outer planet then turned around, one at a time, to face the Earth and in indignant voices jeered at the IAU members. Jupiter was first and as he spun around to face the Earth his prominent big red eye made it appear as if he was giving the IAU guys an evil wink.
"Hey, I'm sick and tired of all of those spacecraft like the Voyagers and Galileo sticking their noses in my business and Galileo even had the audacity to probe me."
Saturn, who for some reason speaks with an Amos and Andy-like ebonic accent said, "Who you think you is tellin' us big mofo's out here what we be doin' no how ?"
Neptune said, "why in hell did you name a dead people's society after me man? That gives me the creeps."
Uranus said, "hey dudes when are you all going to stop with the all the anal jokes about me ?"
Pluto was so mad at being demoted from planet status that he and Charon gave the IAU astronomers the finger.
The IAU scientists became frustrated by the lack of planetary cooperation. They will meet with Jet Propulsion Lab scientists and will attempt to have a space telescope launched from the North Pole and put on a trajectory that will take the craft perpendicular to the orbital plane of the solar system. This would allow the scientists to finally make direct observations on what exactly is going on just outside our planetary back yard.