Mourinho a Certainty for Leeds Job

Funny story written by Mister Meaner

Friday, 21 September 2007

image for Mourinho a Certainty for Leeds Job
Mourinho will be a regular at the Playhouse

Ousted Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho has been linked with the manager's job at lowly League One outfit Leeds United, it has been reported, and may be interested in the position "if the price were right".

Mourinho, sacked by Russian mobster Roman Abramovichski for being "too miserable", was approached by Leeds owner Ken Bates immediately after he left Stamford Bridge, and the two had fish and chips at Harry Ramsden's in Guiseley near Leeds.

Mourinho had Haddock and Chips with mushy peas, bread and butter, and a pot of tea, and Bates had the same thing twice, before the two got down to the business of plotting Leeds' return to football's bigtime .

The Yorkshire club has fallen on hard times of late, and see the Portugueezer as the answer to their woes, and a way of re-establishing themselves in the higher echelons of the Championship where they belong.

Said Bates:

"Jose is the top man, and Leeds are a top club. Harry Ramsden's is a top restaurant. We want him here."

Leeds fans were astounded at the news of Mourinho's impending appointment. One, Madge Postlethwaite of Brighouse, said:

"It's fair muddlin', intit? A club that were sold f' a pound just five minutes ago, wi' a foreigner as manager? I'll go t' foot of ar stairs!"

The job and the move may well appeal to Mourinho, not least because the Leeds area has undergone a massive rejuvenation over the last ten years, and is a centre of cultural heritage.

Mourinho, himself a cultured individual who delights in the arts, said poetically:

"Leeds is great city. In there, you have the West Yorkshire Playhouse. And the women, they are so how you say, fit. I look forward very much to going there and meeting nice Yorkshire people."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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