Eight Iraqis Dead At Hands of 'Private' Soldiers: "It's An Insult!"

Written by tva

Friday, 21 September 2007

image for Eight Iraqis Dead At Hands of 'Private' Soldiers: "It's An Insult!"
Right, where's this war then?

Baghdad - An incident Sunday that left eight dead at the hands of private American security guards have left Iraqi officials angered. Iraq ministers released a statement today stating that the loss was not only tragic but also utterly insulting.

Iraq Foreign Minister Hoshyar Zebari stated in a passage today that the loss was not only unfortunate but also discourteous. "It is one thing to lose brave soldiers in the course of action and conflict. But to lose to a bunch of armed B-Team mall-jockeys is an insult to our proud nation. To bring in such lowly adversaries is nothing but a slap in the face to Iraq."

US Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates defended his government's decision to place security guards in the fray. "It is not the case that we do not rate the abilities of the Iraqi forces. They are a very strong side. Our troops have been hit hard with injury and our recruits through our farm system have not come along as quickly as we had hoped. The security guards have come in in a pinch and have shown some true grit. They've given one-hundred-and-ten percent and at the end of the day, we have to look to them to put some numbers on the board. With some consistent performances like Sundays, you could see these guys making it into regular rotation."

Zebari was not as understanding. "We shall not stand for this continued patronizing." In a document released later that day by the Iraqi government, the Iraq Ministry of Defence will look into several ways of bolstering their troops. This may include bringing in foreign trainers as well as potentially signing big-name soldiers and killers from Europe as well as from the US. There is nothing in the Geneva Convention that restricts the number of foreign soldiers in an army.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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