Rap Star Twelve Pack 4 Sure Shot in Rear
Detroit (IP) - Rap star Twelve Pack 4 Sure was shot in the rear end by a rival rap star and is reported to be in fair condition.
Read full storyHeather Mills Marries Jimmy Buffet
Palm Beach, Florida (IP) - The Palm Beach Times reports that Paul McCartney's ex-wife, Heather Mills and Jimmy Buffet were recently married at the Breaker's Hotel on North Ocean Avenue in Palm Beach.
Read full storyInternational Space Station Due for Repairs
Cape Canaveral, Florida (IP) - The International Space Station will be dismantled one section at a time and be brought back to Earth for mechanical repairs and to remove grafitti and bumper stickers placed there by rogue astronauts and robots.
Read full storyNASA Recalls Pluto Space Craft New Horizons
Cape Canaveral, Florida (IP) - NASA has recalled the New Horizons mission to Pluto. The space craft is performing a U-turn and will return to Earth as commanded.
Read full storyCuban Missile Crisis Again on the Horizon
Havana, Cuba (IP) - A second missile crisis looms almost 50 years after the first Cuban misile crisis brought the world to the brink of nuclear war.
Read full storyOlympics loses Kodak sponsorship; picks up DuPont; 2012 Olympics backdrop for "Noah's Ark Animal Pills for Global Warming"
New York, New York - With the use of steroids nearly running rampant by Olympic athletes, Kodak has decided its time to end its long-term association with the Olympics, which dates back to the very first games in Athens in 1896. Officially, Kodak exe...
Read full storyHookers To Host Fundraiser For Hillary
(New York) - More than 100 of New York's finest call girls are holding a 3-day fundraiser this weekend for presidential front runner, Hillary Clinton.
Read full storyEveryone's got a secret!
I just move into new home in Southern CA. It's a "Leave it to Beaver" type of community. As usual, the first thing I try to do when I move into a place is meet the neighbors.
Read full storyMore Fakery as BBC Announce Production of 'Citizen Yentob'
The BBC has come in for more criticism after the 'Scott Walker' Imagine documentary when it announced that the prestigious Christmas Day schedule would include the movie 'Citizen Yentob'.
Read full storyInternet to be Closed as 'Most Offensive Spoof Article Ever Written' Removed from Servers
World, Wide and Web, the international conglomerate responsible for the running of the internet today announced that on midnight of 14th October 2007, for the first time ever in its history, the entire internet would have to be closed for &#...
Read full storyBring It On Say Cock-A-Hoop England Fans
English rugby and indeed the entire country has gone mental over its side's win in Paris last night.
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens Xmas iPod downloads Viagra-busting pheromone-imitating subliminals
Los Angeles - (Ass Mess): A new Vanessa Hudgens Christmas cracker iPod has been launched that promises to do away with the need for Viagra by downloading pheromone-imitating subliminals in the form of alpha waves that directly stimulate the vagus ner...
Read full storyCondi Rice in Russian crack-dealing turf wars crackdown
Kremlin - (Conspiracy Mess): Russia's President Vladimir Sputum has threatened to "interfere in Russia's internal affairs" unless US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice releases one of his country's biggest-seized narcotic cargo...
Read full storyNobel winner Lessing 'no cute old granny'
Cricklewood, London - (Rotters): Nobel prize winner Doris Lessing played a blinder this week accepting the prestigious literature gong for a lifetime of humbug and denial about some murky DNA secrets lurking in her personal closet.
Read full storyWorld's first haunted mountain opens on Everest
The Nepalese and Tibetian governments announced today that Mt. Everest would open the world's first haunted mountain this Halloween season. The 29,035 foot peak, the highest in the world, has been an attraction for climbers all over the world sin...
Read full storyStaunton admits lying to get job
Dundalk, Ireland - Stephen"Stan"Staunton, manager of the Rep.of Ireland football team, has sensationally admitted to lying in order to get the 500,000 euro per annum job, one of the most sought after posts in international football.
Read full storyPresident Bush passes nation duct tape act to repair nation's economy
In a desperate move to hold the nation's economy together and provide necessary sweeping reform in all areas, the United States president has ordered hundreds of thousands of rolls of duct tape and has passed a national duct tape standards act.
Read full storyWee Jimmy Krankie's Guide To Political Correctness Part 1
For years people called me a 'tiny-tranny-perv-beast' and a 'rotten little Scot slipper' so I know what it's like to be on the end of an extra long, wordy insult.
Read full storyWorld at risk from obesity - fatties to be rounded up and put in camps
The health secretary dramatically accused fat people of putting the world at risk. She said that obesity is as dangerous as climate change and terrorism, and that everyone will be weighed to decide if they are obese or not; those who fail could be pu...
Read full storyLe Crunch
Today, millions of truffle sniffing Frenchmen and their mistresses are waking up with a sore head following their country's shameful assault on the England rugby team in the Stade De France last night.
Read full storyHillary Clinton Trusts that Americans are Largely Stupid; Polls Suggest She is Correct
Grassroots, USA -- As the latest polls are released today, one thing is clear: democratic Senator Hillary Clinton's campaign for the Presidency is on fire. As a result, it is abundantly clear that the American people are finally put off with the war...
Read full storyBush Unveils Controversial New Energy Proposal
WASHINGTON -- President Bush held a press conference today to announce a new energy initiative. At the heart of the initiative is an unprecedented and highly controversial proposal aimed at reducing U.S. dependence on foreign oil, as well as increasi...
Read full storyAmerican spoof writer does not win Nobel in literature
American spoof writer King David did not win the Nobel Prize for literature this year. David, best known for his novel, The Golden Shower, currently writes prolific satire for TheSpoof.com a website originating in the UK.
Read full storyAl Gore Wins Nobel Prize for Creating Global Warming!
Antarctica - Al Gore today received the Nobel Prize for single handedly creating global warming. "I create global warming," said former Vice President Gore, "It was actually before I created the internet, which is still being fought fo...
Read full storySteinbrenner Proposes Rule Change
New York (AP) Today George Steinbrenner, owner of the New York Yankees made a stunning proposal for a prospective rules change.
Read full storyU.S. does not use Depleted Uranium in Iraq : Gates
BAGHDAD - The United States army never uses any weapons containing Depleted Uranium in Iraq, the United States' Secretary of Defense Robert Gates said here on Saturday at the sidelines of his visit to Baghdad, Iraq.
Read full storyGeneral Election to be Decided by Wrestling
Whenever the UK's wimp prime minister pulls his finger out and decides he wants to lose an election, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II has decreed that the premiership shall be decided in the wrestling ring. "There's not enough farking wrestling on t...
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