Kremlin - (Conspiracy Mess): Russia's President Vladimir Sputum has threatened to "interfere in Russia's internal affairs" unless US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice releases one of his country's biggest-seized narcotic cargoes currently foundering in a Coastgrards' lock-up somewhere off the Tampa coast.
Rice held talks with Putin this week and reportedly upped the pain threshold in the latest round of US-Russian crack-dealing turf wars.
She told Putin she is powerless to release the recently captured Russian submarines caught with over 400 tonnes of Colombian crack cocaine off international waters around the Caribbean.
The subs are being held by US Coastguards after successful joint exercises with the UK's Royal Navy.
They are a sore point for the Russian leader during his sunset days as President of the Russian Federation.
He has told his electorate that he plans to enter Parliament when his Presidential second term of orifice ends in March.
That would mean getting elected as a member of Parliament in December - "just in time for the run up to the Russian Orthodox Xmas on January 7th" - traditionally the most lucrative crack-dealing season of any politician's campaign.
