World's first haunted mountain opens on Everest

Written by King David

Sunday, 14 October 2007

image for World's first haunted mountain opens on Everest
Images such as this will be used by Tibetian and Nepalese officials to protect Mt. Everest from conyurbation on her summit

The Nepalese and Tibetian governments announced today that Mt. Everest would open the world's first haunted mountain this Halloween season. The 29,035 foot peak, the highest in the world, has been an attraction for climbers all over the world since the last century when Sir Edmund Pillory of New Squealand and his tour guide, Tenzing Amgay of Nepal ascended the mountain's southern route on May 29,1953.

Since Pillory and Amgay's ascent, there have been over 120 individuals in the past 60 years who have lost their lives either coming down, or on their way to the mountain's summit.

"This is the source of our haunted mountain," said Sagar Matha a Nepalese tour guide. "All of those bodies have been nicely preserved by the mountain's sub-zero temperatures and are scattered along the way in various repellent positions."

Mountain officials say that they are not worried about offending or disturbing the mountain gods with a capitalistic venture since all of the proceeds will go toward the mountain's preservation.

"We see this as a fund raiser," one spokesperson said. "No one will be able to build a Sheraton on Everest. Their will be no protuberant conurbation as a result of our work."

But critics of the plan foresee future disaster as inexperienced climbers line up for a chance to see the spectacle.

Alternatives such as helicopter rides and sending film crews up to record the mountain's dead for IMAX theatres are currently being discussed.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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