Hillary Clinton Trusts that Americans are Largely Stupid; Polls Suggest She is Correct

Funny story written by funwithwords

Sunday, 14 October 2007

image for Hillary Clinton Trusts that Americans are Largely Stupid; Polls Suggest She is Correct
Senator Hillary Clinton's lips: moving again....

Grassroots, USA -- As the latest polls are released today, one thing is clear: democratic Senator Hillary Clinton's campaign for the Presidency is on fire. As a result, it is abundantly clear that the American people are finally put off with the war in Iraq. "I voted for Bush a second time because we needed to finish kickin' some Iraqi ass," stated a former supporter of President Bush. "But hell, I thought the man knew what he was doin' over there."

Others who've vowed to support Clinton's campaign for the Presidency echoed similar sentiments. "We need somebody to do somethin' about that war over there," stated another voter. "It's time to kick the republicans out -- they aint nothing but a bunch of crooks and liars." Asked why she was supporting Hillary's bid for the White House, the voter explained, "It's time for a change. The republicans got us into that war, so it's time to get some democrats back into office. Besides, Hillary's way ahead in the polls -- nobody else can win." When it was explained that Senator Clinton, as well as other democrats, voted to give the Bush administration the green light to invade Iraq, the voter reflexively stated, "yeah, but Bush and Cheney lied. She never would have voted to go to war had she knew then what she knows now."

And therein lies the rub. Senator Clinton witnessed the debacle that was the United States' and United Kingdom's presentations intending to justify war to the United Nations a month and a half prior to the invasion itself. Senator Clinton was well aware that the UK's dossier of "intelligence" was roundly, and embarrassingly, dismissed as a plagiarized copy of a grad student's work of more than a decade prior, hence, wasn't worth the paper it was printed on. Senator Clinton was aware that virtually every claim that then Secretary of State Colin Powell made before the United Nations that same day was, as well, soundly dismissed as pure bunk by such players as the weapons inspectors themselves, including Hans Blix.

Yet, even in April 2004 -- a full year after the initial invasion -- Senator Clinton assured the voters in a CNN interview that she "had no regrets" for voting in favor of Bush's war resolution that led to the Iraqi invasion. Ironically, the very next year, and obviously feeling a bit of heat from her constituents, Senator Clinton would finally be on record expressing "regret" for the "fact" that the Bush administration "deceived" her and the rest of the congress into voting in favor of the war resolution.

However, to make such a claim must as well suggest one of the following: A) that Senator Hillary Clinton experienced a momentary lapse of reason, hence was deceived by President Bush, of all people, in order to vote in favor of an open-ended war resolution, and that perhaps she did miss entirely the embarrassing debacle at the United Nations prior to the invasion itself as well; or B) Hillary Clinton has embraced the neo-conservative foreign policy agenda known as the Bush Doctrine; yet, she trusts that most Americans are pretty much too stupid to realize it.

Gauging from Senator Clinton's past actions as a Senator, including her more recent vote to condemn Iran's Revolutionary Guard as a "terrorist organization," thus blazing the way for a "justified" military action against yet another Country -- Iran in this case -- it appears that the correct answer is B. Polls suggest she is correct.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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