Cricket Is Officially the World's Most Dangerous Sport

Funny story written by politicalpop

Wednesday, 21 March 2007

image for Cricket Is Officially the World's Most Dangerous Sport
Modern-day cricketers have to dodge bullets during training with live rounds

The once staid sport of cricket, usually associated with pullovers, warm beer and tea breaks, is now officially recognised by the Dangerous Sports Club, as the most dangerous sport in the world ahead of base jumping, free diving, cave diving, and bull riding. And it's no surprise. Andrew Flintoff had to be rested recently after the pedalo he was surfing ran into dangerous seas, all part of the dangerous modern game.

During routine arduous fielding drills, captain Michael Vaughan fell and spent many hours being rescued from a giant pothole in a practice area at the Beausejour Stadium. Vaughan still had to face lethal throwdowns afterwards.

Cricketers have to jump off tall structures without a parachute, including skyscrapers, electrical towers, bridges and cliffs to practice catching. They will plunge up to 400 feet underwater in a single breath, still holding the bat.

They often face being more than 30 meters under freezing water in dark caves. They are well trained, but there are so many things that can go wrong which is why cricket has been deemed the world's most dangerous sports. You can lose your way, run out of air, your equipment can fail or you can be eaten alive by a cave creature.

Cricketers wear special skis and aerodynamic suits to fly down hills at speeds up to 160 miles per hour to sharpen reflexes. They jump on raging bulls and try to hang on. That's the name of the game in cricket these days. Some of the bulls weigh over 2000 pounds, and can throw a cricketer off. Cricketers often suffer broken bones, punctured lungs and even death. That is the reality of modern cricket.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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