Bob Woolmer - Ball-Tampering Suspected

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 21 March 2007


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Bob Woolmer - Ball-Tampering Suspected
A ball about to be tampered with

Bob Woolmer, the ex-Kent and England batsman, and ex-Pakistan and South Africa coach, is only just nicely 'back in the pavilion', but the tongues are already wagging as to how he died.

Police in the West Indies are investigating several claims that 'foul play' was to blame.

Chief Superintendent Chaka Demus told reporters amassed outside Pakistan's training camp today, that he was looking into claims that Mr Woolmer's balls had been tampered with.

"Pakistan are well-known for this kind of thing", he said. "It wouldn't be the first time, and we are treating this as a serious matter."

His assistant, PC Pliers, said:

"Shabba. Mr Woolmer always played a straight bat. There is no suggestion that he was doing anything else the night his balls were tampered with. Shabba."

The International Cricket Council (ICC), has said that it thought it had taken steps to make it harder to manipulate and disfigure balls, but admitted it was impossible to completely banish the practice from the game altogether.

The Pakistan cricket team management have denied any link with Mr Woolmer's death, and have refuted ball-tampering suggestions.

In 1987, Mike Gatting, who was thought at that time to be a 'sailor', suffered cheating allegations at the hands of Pakistani umpire Shakoor Rana, but was cleared by a testicle investigator.

An autopsy on Mr Woolmer has been arranged for tomorrow, and any fondling of balls will be revealed soon thereafter.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more