Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 26 July 2007

Memphis, Tennessee - (Ass Mess): The Tennessee Department of Correction has clamped down hard on visitors' provocative underwear.

In a press release today visitors to jails under its jurisdiction have been told they will be stripped of their underwear if they turn up wearing thongs, g-strings, gel-bras, split-crotch rubber panties, padded brassieres filled with water cup-boosters and any other items that prison governors deem provocative, titillating, arousing or capable of leading to lewd behavior.

All visitors to the state's 120 correctional facilities will now be required to undergo a mandatory strip search which will confiscate underwear that prison staff can't handle.

Announcing the raft of new measures Tennessee Correction Commissioner George Little has also banned steel-toed boots, stilleto heels, tattered clothing and see-through tops for men as well as women.

To enforce the dress code prisons will be fitted with electronic thong detectors which will assist jail staff to determine who is and who isn't properly dressed at visitng times.

All confiscated items of underwear will be incinerated in situ and visitors turned away to return home minus their underwear accoding to the new dress code regulations.

A spokeswoman for the Prison Visitors Association of Tennessee said today she didn't agree with the latest rules and blamed Commissioner George Little's prurient religious lifestyle for the latest policy:

"Flamin' bare-assed cheek, that's what it is," she said today.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Sex, Prison

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