Bill O'Reilly Calls Kettle Black, Pots Run For Cover

Funny story written by Jill The Shill

Thursday, 26 July 2007

After successfully grounding Jet Blue for sponsoring a Daily KOS conference, O'Reilly shouted down what he claims is hate speech on the site. Comparing the unedited posts on the site to hate speech by David Duke, O'Reilly collectively offended liberals and neo-Nazis alike in one fell swoop. In doing so, the normally savvy pundit severely damaged his image, appearing more like a cranky, old woman sitting on the porch shaking her fist at young "ruffians". Seriously, there's more hate speech on the LOST message board about Jack than is likely to appear on any blog, left or right.

Asked to explain why such "hateful" comments appear on the Daily KOS, Clinton's campaign manager Howard Wolfson appeared on the O'Reilly Factor. After several futile attempts to turn a barrage into a discussion, Wolfson resorted to Electric Company tactics to explain how hate speech arises. Two silhouettes facing each other utter a single syllable, "T" then "Roll", enunciating "troll' simultaneously. O'Reilly still didn't get it and instead shook his fist at Wolfson and demanded he turn that music down.

Furthermore, the tendency for people to hide behind the anonymity of cyberspace and spout the most outrageous ideological crap cuts both ways. When confronted with that reality, O'Reilly insisted his website takes off objectionable material when they see it. He also accused Kos of planting people to post objectionable material on his site. From there he deteriorated from old woman shaking her fist on a porch to a caricature of Michael Moore with Alzheimer's searching out conspiracies.

Everyone bemoans the death of civilized public discourse, but the genie is out of the bottle and bitchier than ever. Some credit goes to Rush Limbaugh before drugs, when he was abrasive but humorous. O'Reilly is to Rush what the Monkees are to the Beatles, the Mr. Pibb of conservatism. His selective outrage is as much a cry for help as Lindsey Lohan's DUIs, but this latest wack attack is approaching "bald Britany Spears" territory. While the majority of people might begrudgingly agree with his attack on hate speech, most doubt the veracity of his conviction. After four years of leading the charge for the Iraq War, some see this as just a way of getting out of having to talk about it. Apparently, there's nothing left to cherry pick there.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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