Bono, "I suffer the wounds of christ"
In an exclusive interview today with the Spoof, Irish Ghandi and sometime lead singer of U2 Bono O'bono, sensationally claimed to be suffering from the rare religious condition known to priest's and vicar's around the world as Stigmata. The amazin...
Read full storyBritney Spears' Vagina Decides Rehab's for Quitters
MALIBU CALIF Insiders tell BEF that Britney Spears and her vagina have entered rehab. In the fastest turnaround in history she checked out in 24 hrs.
Read full storyShilpa Shetty Sues Jade Goody
Not yet a month since the debacle that was Celebrity Big Brother and still the controversy reigns supreme as Shilpa Shetty prepares yet another battle with Jade Goody. This time in court!...
Read full storyITV Jazz Up Boat Race Coverage
The Annual Boat race, that definitive clash of the learned rowing titans of Cambridge and Oxford will be given a makeover by broadcasters ITV this year.
Read full storyTim Hardaway's Anti-Gay Comments Spark Bill Gates' Shocking Admission
On the heels of Tim Hardaway telling ESPN radio, "I hate gay people," Bill Gates has followed suit, admitting to Larry King: "I hate nerds."...
Read full storyBritney Spears Vagina : It's Gone Very Stale
News of the furore surrounding Britney Spears vagina has been bouncing around newsrooms today.
Read full storyAlex Ferguson, "I've been living a lie."
Manchester United's ruddy faced supremo, Sir Alex Ferguson today stunned journalists at United's famous Carrington training ground, by declaring to waiting reporters that he had a major announcement to make regarding his well documented Scott...
Read full storyLiam Gallagher : I'm Ready to Fight Fat Robbie now
Oasis front man and celebrity 'Manc Skank' Liam Gallagher has declared that he's ready to have fisticuffs with chubby pill popper Robbie Williams.
Read full storyAnother Gandhi wannabe as Madona's Kabbalah water goes down the pan
London - (Rotters): Alarmed at the plunging sales figures of her radioactivity neutralising Kabbalah water, 1980s pop diva Maddona has taken one more precarious step in the path of gross self-mortifiation by telling the world she wants to be remember...
Read full storyRalph Fiennes: The English Passenger On Qantas
It's anyone's random guess what actually occurred, as no one else was present except the two in question, but apparently Royal Shakespeare actor Ralph Fiennes followed a flight attendant into the airplane loo for whatever, and an investigatio...
Read full storyOasis Receive Lifetime Achievement Award At Brits!
Oasis finally got the recognition they deserved at the Brit Awards by winning the Lifetime Achievement Award.
Read full storyBritain is Far Better Than Brazil At Everything
Compared with Brazil, the UK's kids are happy as sandboys. They are not gun crazy, like Brazilians. Brazil is a pathertic 56th in the world at making money per head, whereas we're a mighty 19th. And...
Read full storyFIFA Intoduces New Red Card
Barcelona- A new red card is to be introduced with immediate effect into European and International football. Diving, or pretending to be knocked over by a member of the opposite illegally in hopes of drawing a penalty, will now be punishable with a...
Read full storyGovernment report reveals that women who go to university 'loose the ability to cook and clean'
A new report today revealed what many of us had suspected for years, that womens' natural and inate ability to hoover, dust, cook and clean is being eroded away by over-education.
Read full storyNo evidence of reality TV on Mars points to intelligent life
A high resolution camera mounted on a spaceship orbiting Mars has found no signs that reality TV exists or has ever existed on the red planet. The pictures also showed a substantial lack of interest in popstars' vaginas or dead strippers. Scienti...
Read full storyVirgin to install on-board mile high facilities to woo Fiennes
London - (Rotters): Virgin Airlines announced today that it is installing customised state of the art love shacks in all its first class cabin areas as of this weekend in a bid to woo horny headline grabbing passengers like the world's greatest l...
Read full storyMcClaren Calls on Troops to Help England
Sir Steve McClaren, England supremo, and the man most tipped to be the greatest England manager of all time, called on Tony Blair to bring the troops in to help England in their fight to win the Word Cup for ever. The armed forces, c...
Read full storyPoor Chip Harvest This Year
Britains' legions of fine food gourmets were left reeling this morning when it was announced that the annual chip harvest which took place just after Christmas, lasting up until the end of January, had been one of the worst ever.
Read full storyGerald Ratner On The Comeback Trail - Crap A Thing Of The Past
Red-faced business big cheese, Gerald Ratner, is reported to be making a comeback into the arena of high street retailing.
Read full storyChinese Year of the Golden Pig will crown its most famous porkers
Chinatown - (Rioters): This weekend's celebrations of the Chinese lunar new year will see the crowning of awesome success for those born under the Pig sign as a sixty-year cycle ushers in the year of the Golden Pig.
Read full storyTreasury Announces New Three Dollar Bill
WASHINGTON - US Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulson, Jr. has announced today that the treasury will begin printing a new three dollar bill sometime next month.
Read full storyCameron Diaz accepts megabux damages
Hollywood - (Rioters): The germophobic starlet Cameron Diaz has won substantial damages from a US sleaze rag that said her relationship with Justin Timberlake had been contaminated by her two-timing with married MTV producer Shane Nickerson.
Read full story"Cataclysmic disasters on a biblical scale"
February 21st 2008 will bring a total lunar eclipse; according to a leaked document, astronomers and scientist agree that it may well be a time of great danger for our earth. The last time the moon came that close to earth was 7981 B...
Read full storyOld Sea Port found under the English Channel
Divers off Fairlight beach on the Sussex coast of England have found Gwent Chesel le which was an old Saxon fishing port washed away in storms during 1250 1252 and 1254.
Read full storyViagra Hunch or Brady Bunch
Today is an exciting day in the motion picture film industry! A young storage clerk/chemist Frank Timel located a unique film episode of the Brady Bunch.
Read full storySouth London in the grip of terror from toddler drug dealers
They say criminals are getting younger but, as last nights shooting by a two and a half year old toddler shows, the streets of Peckham have now become a creche of fear!...
Read full storyAnus Debates Hands at Annual Body Parts Convention
New York - This year's Body Parts Convention got off to a rousing start as the anus took the stage in a spirited debate against the hands.
Read full storyLondon Fashion Week Well Up To Usual Load Of Nonsense
It's London fashion week and once again there is no shortage of bonkers designs for us all to have a look at.
Read full storyShah Rukh Khan Assaulted on the sets of KBC
Mumbai: The ongoing cold war between Bollywood top star Shah Rukh Khan, the current host of Kaun Banega Crorepati and Amitabh Bachchan, the earlier host of the same show (an Indian version of Who Wants To Be a Millionaire) resulted in a vicious ass...
Read full storyPink Eye,The New Fad!
From Broadway through Hollywood to Bollywood, stars and the star-struck are seeking the newest-latest beauty trait, conjunctivitis!...
Read full storyArt Opening Rocks!
In an Art show that critics are saying may very well represent the blockbuster of the early 21st century, a rock quarry outside Barrenson, VT is drawing viewers like the crater in Close Encounters.
Read full storyBlairadiation Stuffed by Green Peace
Blairadiation, the lame lightning bug PM's nuculear (Twin Bush taught him pronunciation) energy plan has been seriously dissed by Judge Sullivan and Greenpeace, or was it Green day. Either way Greens have prevailed in warning the UK that Blair...
Read full storyBritney Spears Does The Responsible Thing; Hires Nanny, Fairy Poppins To Care For Children
Britney Spears, trying to get her life together, appeared to be doing the right thing today by hiring British nanny and London cross-dresser, umbrella flyer Fairy Poppins to care for her two sons, Sean Preston (17 mo.) and Jayden James (5 mo.). It wa...
Read full storyBritney Spears Huddles with New York Mayor Bloomberg to Deal with iPod Ban
New Yorkers panicked when a state senator, citing safety concerns, proposed legislation to ban the use of handheld electronic devices (cellphones, music players, mini computers, etc.) by pedestrians crossing the streets in large cities of the state.
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