Gerald Ratner On The Comeback Trail - Crap A Thing Of The Past

Written by Duff

Friday, 16 February 2007

image for Gerald Ratner On The Comeback Trail - Crap A Thing Of The Past
A piece of cack in one of Ratner's shops

Red-faced business big cheese, Gerald Ratner, is reported to be making a comeback into the arena of high street retailing.

Rossiter, famous for his starring role as seedy landlord Rigsby and who once famously said that he sold complete total and utter shite in his shops, has been eating humble pie ever since and he's fed up with it. He told The Spoof:

"I'm coming back into the jewellery game and they better look out. And I'm not going to be selling crap any more. No sir. What I'm going to sell this time will be cack"

When we asked Ratzinger's wife, who was wearing a diamond tiara and matching earrings, if they were bought in one of Rigsby's shops, she replied:

"Do I look like a cheap tart? These were bought in Cartierses young man"

Miss Jones, when she heard the news, told us:

"Ooh Mr Rigsby, I'm not that kind of girl!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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