FIFA Intoduces New Red Card

Written by Travis Casey

Friday, 16 February 2007

image for FIFA Intoduces New Red Card
Can Portugal still win?

Barcelona- A new red card is to be introduced with immediate effect into European and International football. Diving, or pretending to be knocked over by a member of the opposite illegally in hopes of drawing a penalty, will now be punishable with a single red card with a logo indicating diving. No previous yellow cards will have to be shown prior to a player receiving a "No Diving" card and ejection from the game is immediate.

Sir Alex Ferguson is outraged by the move. "How the hell do officials expect us to win any games when we will invariably left with only ten men on the field. Ronaldo will be ejected from every game. Whistle blows, Ronaldo dives. Players walk within 10 feet of Ronaldo, he dives. The wind blows and Ronaldo dives. I think this is a very unfair rule and will take a lot of good actors and entertainers out of the game. Basically it's crap".

UEFA issued a statement claiming it's a football pitch, not a swimming pool.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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