WASHINGTON - US Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulson, Jr. has announced today that the treasury will begin printing a new three dollar bill sometime next month.
Paulson issued a statement:
"It's a fairly big jump from $1 to $5. We thought it was time to close that gap. We had considered a three dollar coin, but after that Susan B. Anthony fiasco we decided against it. There has also been pressure on us from the liberal left. There is a saying about 'He's as queer as a three dollar bill' which is a reference to gays. With the introduction of this new denomination, that phrase will become obsolete and slighting gays at the expense of the treasury will no longer be possible"
It is not known who will feature as the face of the new $3, but it is thought that the treasury may make a move away from political figures and pay tribute to Hollywood. Rock Hudson and Liberace are both said to be candidates for the front of the bill and scenes from Brokeback Mountain will feature on the back.