Britain is Far Better Than Brazil At Everything

Funny story written by politicalpop

Friday, 16 February 2007

image for Britain is Far Better Than Brazil At Everything
No samba dancing nancy boy beats us

Compared with Brazil, the UK's kids are happy as sandboys. They are not gun crazy, like Brazilians. Brazil is a pathertic 56th in the world at making money per head, whereas we're a mighty 19th. And they have little kids running round with guns, some as small as midgets, killing each other, and they mean to do it. That's what they do in samba crazy Brazil.

Dr. John Reid, who is the number one Home Secretary of his generation, said:

'Sociologists can talk mumbo jumbo and read The Guardian, but we are hardworking people who have no time for that nonsense because we're busy making money. Brazil on the other hand makes no money, none at all. They should sort themselves out. We're better than them, and that's that. Britain is best. Okay. Do you want to make something of it?'

Brazil, which has often had football success, actually lost the World Cup spectacularly last time, causing experts to speculate that their happy go lucky way of life has finished in a hail of bullets. They don't even enjoy financial success. Remember, they're 56th, and we're 19th.

The Spoof says, if you like Brazil so much, go and live there, you Guardian reading muesli munching liberal morons. What you don't know is we trounce Brazil in many, many ways the Guardian doesn't mention. Did you know that English is more widely spoken than Brazilian? Did you know that Brazilian women wear bras, and are fatter than English women? Did you know that Britain has one more letter in it than Brazil? That's what The Guardian doesn't tell you.

Britain is far, far, better than Brazil in every respect! Now push off, or shut up you whingers and let Reid sort it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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