Virgin to install on-board mile high facilities to woo Fiennes

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 16 February 2007

image for Virgin to install on-board mile high facilities to woo Fiennes
Virgin: customised new facilities to woo Fiennes

London - (Rotters): Virgin Airlines announced today that it is installing customised state of the art love shacks in all its first class cabin areas as of this weekend in a bid to woo horny headline grabbing passengers like the world's greatest living explorer Sir Ranulph Fiennes.

"It's a pretty dire state of affairs when the rich and famous have to resort to using seedy on-board lavatories for anything other than the most basic natural urges", said a Virgin PR spokesman.

"Our first customised love cabin has been created specially with Sir Ranulph in mind and will feature a Mount Everest-type bivouac shelter complete with authentic bracing Himalayan mountain air.

"Another of our transatlantic 747s will be kitted out with the North Face of the Eiger-style base camp for the slightly sprightlier and more adventurous lover and will feature an ice bed complete with optional crampons.

"We hope these innovations will be the first of many to woo the right sort of passenger back onto our planes after all this pulicity that Quaintarse got last week."

Fiennes, 63, has been invited to become Virgin's first honorary lifetime long distance traveller after a planned toppng out ceremony for the latest mile high innovation.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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