President Bush Outlaws All Anna Nichole Smith Jokes
In an emergency Oval Office secret signing session yesterday President Bush, using the same secret signing powers he used to get us into Iraq signed into law legislation making it illegal to mock, spoof, humorize, make-fun-of, demoralize or in any la...
Read full storyArea Man Likes Boobs - Community Disgusted
Kokomo, Indiana - A local man here made a shocking announcement to fellow workmates today. Phil Winslow, 27, told three other male workers that he liked boobs, and was attracted to women because they possessed them.
Read full storyAnna Nicole Smith: Paternity Test Latest - Popes Withdrawal
A sensational twist in the Anna Nicole Smith paternity quest has occurred today. The Spoof earlier reported that in excess of 3000 men had registered for the televised DNA test, produced by the 'American Idol' team. Working title "Wh...
Read full storyShilpa Shetty, Borat and Suri Holmes Cruise audition for Tarantino's Anna Nicole the Movie
Hollywood, Ca. (Ass Mess): Celebrity Big Brother winner Shilpa Shetty is to audition for the title role of the new Quentin Tarantino film Anna Nicole the Movie.
Read full storyFood rationing to stop fat people getting fatter
The UK Government are to agree plans to bring back food rationing in an attempt to stop the increasing obesity rate across Britain. Food rationing ended in 1954 after the Second World War but ministers feel this is the only way to stop the growing wa...
Read full storyRatzinger and Brown launch £750m anti-homosexuality vaccination fund
Vatican City - (Rotters): Pope Ratzinger and UK Chancellor/wannabe Prime Monster Gordon Brown have launched a £750 million fund to vaccinate billions of children against homosexuality according to a Vatican statement issued today.
Read full storyMohammed Al Fayed says Anna Nicole was pregnant
London - (ReUterus & Ass. Mess): Phoney Pharaoh and owner of Harrabs department store in central London Mohammed Al Fayed has told a press conference today that on the morning of her death former Playboy centrefold Anna Nicole Smith phoned him and to...
Read full storyAnna Nicole's Daughter, a test tube Baby?
Just when you thought it couldn't get any stranger they just keep on pulling you in. Looking like something out of a bad Saturday Night Live skit Anna Nicole Smith's sister, Donna Hogan, is coming out with a tell all book appropriately titled...
Read full storyCork Man's Head Shrinks After Incident In Nuclear Plant
A worker at a nuclear facility who was exposed to harmful radiation has had his head shrink to half of its original size.
Read full storyJade Goody to distract attention from Palestinian faux pas
Gaffe-prone Palestine was again left red-faced yesterday as it comically failed to recognise near neighbour, Israel. "I feel so stupid" Palestine was quoted as saying "but you know how it is when you just can't place someone. I kne...
Read full storyAnna Nicole Smith : Paternity Tests - American Idol Team Called in
The paternity lottery surrounding the late Anna Nicole Smiths daughter and heir to her ill gotten fortune was in full swing today.
Read full storyCNN Breaking News: "Osama Enters U.S. Presidential Race"
Sources close to CNN have informed us that Osama is running for president. Osama is very popular among Democrats and liberals because of his opposition to the Iraq War. Osama, appearing at his latest press conference, said "we must fix the mess...
Read full storyEaster eggs infested with bird flu
Norfolk - (Rotters): The UK bird flu pandemic reached new heights of hysteria today as the Department for Agrigulture, Fisheries and Flu ordered an immediate recall of all Easter eggs after traces of the deadly campylobacter H5N1 virus were found in...
Read full storyMaster Ninja Konayatsu Nakahara Declares Candidacy for US Presidency
In line with Guiliani as the first Italian candidate, Barak Obama as the non-white candidate, and Hillary Clinton as the first female candidate for the US Presidency, 42 year old Konayatsu Nakahara has entered the race for the party nomination. With...
Read full storyZsa Zsa Gabor says von Asphalt is one dirty sodding bastard
Monte Carlo - (Rotters): A heartbroken and humiliated Zsa Zsa Gabor was consulting her lawyers today after her husband of 20 years Prince Frederick von Assfelt claimed to have been shagging Anna Nicole Smith since 1990 and had also fathered her baby...
Read full storySperm bank says baby is Marshall's
Waco, Texarse - (ReUterus & Ass. Mess): A Wacko sperm bank has waded into the controversy surrounding the paternity of deceased former stripper Anna Nicole Smith's daughter by claiming that the baby is the result of posthumous artificial insemina...
Read full storyBig Brother To Be Axed!
In a sensational development that will rock the nation it has been officially announced that Big Brother is to be no more.
Read full storyBritney Spears/Luciano Pavarotti Duet in Stockhausen; Ends in Disaster as Tenor's Ringpiece Collapses
An experimental piece by composer, Karlheinz Stockhausen was branded as 'shit' yesterday and forced to close after only one night.
Read full storyDanielle LLoyd Splits with Teddy
Following the 'racist' debacle during the recent Celebrity Big Brother show, Danielle Lloyd is the latest victim of her own making.
Read full storyDaniel Radcliffe admits bird flu caused by Harry Potter cloning experiment
Daniel Radcliffe has admitted that he is responsible for the H5N bird flu virus which struck Britain this week.
Read full storyMuslim Outrage Reaches Its Outrageous Peak
Muslim leaders have spoken out to say that, contrary to popular belief, Muslims are indeed outraged by the strange actions, words and sentiments of anyone who is not of their ilk.
Read full storyEnrolled Your Toddler in "American Idol School" Yet?
"As you see it's best to start training early" Simon says "IF you want to become .. American Idol." FOX network in conjunction with Sylvian Learning Center has already begun accepting student ages 2 and below at it's San D...
Read full storyBig Ben Charged With Domestic Assault Against The Atomic Clock
London - Big Ben, more popularly known as St. Stephen's Tower, was formally charged today with Domestic Assault against the Atomic Clock. Big Ben's attorney has claimed that the Atomic Clock was "asking for it" by repeatedly remind...
Read full storyWorld's First Totally Inaccessible Mall Goes Belly-up
Late night comediennes are having a giggle-fest after the builders of a $750 million dollar mall in South Dallas...
Read full storySex Advice Sexperts' Marriage on the Rocks
Colleen and Havinghurst Dawurst, sextraordinaire coupling sexperts have announced their divorce over irreconcilable differences.
Read full storyAskFrFred Online Confessional Receives Award from Knights of Malta
Amid a procession of ancient Maltese Knights,all of whom are union members in the construction industry in Pelham Bay, Bronx, NY, the latest internet celebrity marched arms akimbo.
Read full storyLA Decides to Rank 'Gangstas'
Just when US high schools and universities are moving away from ranking students based on performance, the City of the Angels has decided to follow the example of TheSpoof.com and give rankings to its street gangs. Chief Of Police X. Rodney King expl...
Read full storyBush's Uncle Bucky Makes Millions on War
"The gods of satire are sometimes much too gracious as this actual news story drops into spoofbelievers' laps", This sentiment from satirist, Irish-Italian-American Terrence Plautus refers to his report on the burgeoning war-profiteerin...
Read full storyIf you look down in the shower, can you see anything?
Have you ever noticed how novelty products, the thought here is about glasses with windscreen wipers on them, actually stem from a very good idea? The problem was that the idea wasn't fully formed; that is until a bright spark took a new approach and put a big plastic nose and false moustache underneath them. One man's pain is another man's novelty nose, I suppose.
Read full storyWhy Dads play golf/drink/leave home/ have a sex change
Have you ever tried having and adult conversation with kids around? It's not interesting to them and not focussed on them so they will go to superhuman lengths to get noticed; including finding the heaviest thing in the room to bang on a sibling or the most fragile thing to launch across the room.
Read full storyOf inquisitive Labradors and picky mice
In London recently I had the opportunity to go and visit the younger of my two older sisters. I am the baby of the family and no matter how much I pound my chest and proclaim my alpha male status, since our father died some years ago, they still want to baby me. Am I warm enough? Have I eaten enough? Do I need to use the little boy's room? It's quite endearing unless we're in a public...
Read full storyAstronauts Grateful for Death of Starlet
An audible sigh of relief could be heard emanating today from NASA headquarters in Washington, D.C. Early poll ratings suggest that U.S. citizens are even more interested in the emerging news of Ms. Smith's death than they were in the Lisa Nowak...
Read full storyMarilyn Manson Desperate To Make News Again - Scary Left Eye Just Not Cutting It Anymore
Las Angeles - In an announcement to a throng of one reporter and two on-lookers who weren't really paying attention today, shock-rocker Marilyn Manson swore he would make the news again.
Read full storyBush's Uncle Bucky is one big crook: SEC lawsuit
Washington DC - (Rotters): The Securities and Exchange Commission has filed a lawsuit alleging President Bush's Uncle Bucky is one big crook who creamed off $20 Million in a defense contractor fraud scam from an illegal stock-option timing scheme...
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