World's First Totally Inaccessible Mall Goes Belly-up

Written by President Bush

Saturday, 10 February 2007

image for World's First Totally Inaccessible Mall Goes Belly-up
There's a MALL in them thar woods

Late night comediennes are having a giggle-fest after the builders of a $750 million dollar mall in South Dallas
had to themselves be airlifted off the premises on the final day of construction after suddenly realizing .. THERE'S NO WAY OUT! Or IN!

"Ok I know we kind of painted ourselves into a corner" the president of Jay Corp said. Jay Corp, the mall's primary contractor issued a public apology saying,

"During construction the city was simultaneously extending it's freeways next to our construction site. So, naturally we assumed that when we finished building there'd be .... TEN e-z entrances IN .. TEN e-z exits out. THAT particular scenario did not pan out as predicted by our spreadsheets and former accountant Dave."

Not only does the elevated freeway completely bypass the heavily wooded mall area but as motorists say, the restrainer walls on the freeway are so high you can't even SEE Jay Corp's mall when you whiz by let alone get to it.

Businesses at the now defunct mall say that while open, business was at best, "slow". Small wonder, analysts say considering that any potential customer would have to park a mile away by the deer crossing and hike through 2 miles of underbrush, thorns, marshes and rattle-snake dens just to reach the "Welcome To Forest Creek Mall" sign.

Stephen Daniels, manager of The Foot Locker said some customers DID show up one day. "Unfortunately", Daniels said,

"It was just a group of Cub Scouts lost in the woods whose parents hadn't given them much spending change but we were glad to see them. We gave them some ice cream and called Life-Flight helicopters to lift them out of there."

Jay Corp, accused by many for "planning and thinking like the Bush administration" promises to think things out in the future and weigh consequences and odds BEFORE investing millions or billions of dollars on some project that no one not even God can either get to or most importantly, leave.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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