Cork Man's Head Shrinks After Incident In Nuclear Plant

Written by Duff

Saturday, 10 February 2007

image for Cork Man's Head Shrinks After Incident In Nuclear Plant
Barney shows off his ill-fitting radiation suit for the press yesterday

A worker at a nuclear facility who was exposed to harmful radiation has had his head shrink to half of its original size.

Barney Blarney, from Cork City in Ireland Europe, has been working at the Nukem's west coast installation near the town for five years and he told us:

"When I joined the company back in 2002 my hat size was seven and three eighths and I was given a uniform and helmet to suit that. Last week my boss, Finbar O' Bastard, told me that unless I went into the core and moved some nuclear fusion rods with my bare hands, then I would be fired. So of course I had to do it.

At first I though that it hadn't done me any harm but next day my hat size was down three and a quarter and my knackers ached like the bejasis"

Gary Glib, Nukem's marketing manager told The Spoof:

"The procedure that Barney was asked to carry out is quite routine and if his head has shrunk, then it is a complete coincidence"

Lawyers acting for Barney say they don't think he stands much of a chance with his compensation claim, in the main, because they have been bought off by Nukem.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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