Enrolled Your Toddler in "American Idol School" Yet?

Written by President Bush

Saturday, 10 February 2007

image for Enrolled Your Toddler in "American Idol School" Yet?
Mom, on her way with child to Idol School

"As you see it's best to start training early" Simon says "IF you want to become .. American Idol." FOX network in conjunction with Sylvian Learning Center has already begun accepting student ages 2 and below at it's San Diego American Idol training facility aptly named "Baby Idol Conservatory" or BIC for short.

"That is so .. RETRO" American Idol Kelly Clarkson said upon learning of the new school. The Texas native speaking with Fort Worth KTXA reporters told them,

"I wish I'D had a Baby Idol Conservatory to teach me when I was growing up. All I had to learn from was MTV and VH1. Thank God Aretha came along and showed me the light."

Idol Clay Aikman, unarguably the most talented of all singers past present and future visited BIC along with CNN'S Anderson Cooper. Cooper asked Aikman,

"Clay. Just look at these kids, some of them not older than 1/2, training to, 16 years in the future go audition for Simon who odds say will simply boot them out the door and call them a monkey face. Do you think this is right Clay?"

Aikman replied,

"Uh, which part? The monkey face part or the training all your life to go audition for Simon part?"

Aikman, CNN says, could not comment much because he was too busy wiping baby spittle off his shoes after a young future American Idol toddler named Jenna spat a load southward after trying to sing Puff the Magic Dragon by Crusty the Clown.

Baby Idol Conservatory does not promise to get your toddler (when he or she grows up) a chance to even audition in 2024 before an aging Simon, Paula, Randy and Olivia but it does guarantee that your baby, talented or not will graduate the Conservatory and when the time comes be able to belt out a, as Simon would put it, a most rousing rendition of Puff the Magic Dragon before Simon in the year 2024 goes,

"Paula, who's next? You still alive over there Paula? Randy? Medics?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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