Secret Service Raids Carwash
Today federal agents confiscated nearly $100,000.00 worth of carwash tokens from Bubba's Bubblebath Buggywash of Liverpool, Iowa. In cooperation with local authorities, the coins were seized as part of an ever expanding federal operation to comba...
Read full storyIraqi Insurgents Use Deadly Gas to Counter Attack Surge
Fallujah, Iraq - While several points of President Bush's Iraqi Surge are coming together as hoped, there is one new weapon that Iraqi insurgents are using against Coalition forces. Insurgent forces have been conducting biological gas attacks th...
Read full storySoulja-Boy Stays in iTunes' top 10
On September 14, 1930, Allan Bloom was born in Indianapolis, Indiana. Known for his Platonic and Socratic philosophies, Bloom was a famed American philosopher when he died in 1992. Bloom, strongly influenced by philosophers of the likes of Friedrich Nietzsche and Jean-Jacques Rousseau, is most widely known for his criticism of the American higher education system in his bestselling book, The Closi...
Read full storyPlotz Not Cream
I was slinging my papers this morning on the route, when I got to the Hilton (by the way, this is a classy hotel...Their stalls are 25 cents just for regular!). The night clerk told me some celebrities were staying in the hotel, and at first, I think, he was a little reluctant to tell me who they were, but finally he said that Drew Carey and his crew were staying there and were to make a personal...
Read full storyMore People Being Proactive
Business has had a good year, and the reason is simple: more people are being proactive. "We've got more people being proactive and, as we all know, that grows the brand!" declared Miles Carruthers, CEO of Teleplexis International.
Read full storyI Am The Fattest Man In The World
I am the fattest man in the world. The last time I was taken down to the post office by my brother's wife for a weighing, I came in a just a pinch over 2000 pounds. I don't feel that fat. Like old people who say that they eternally feel 35, I have had the idea that my weight is about 1500 or perhaps 1600 pounds. Not the 2000 that the scale says. I live naked all the time, except when I mus...
Read full storyStopped Clock Chimes a Winner!
I was sitting on the toilet this morning (I found a dime under the Coke machine) reading the paper and George Bush made me gag. Gagging in the restroom is not recommended, but on the back page of the front section (where I assume it will be overlooked) the Associated Press reported that the President has called for the elimination of all tariffs and subsidies, worldwide, to promote peace and prosp...
Read full storyNew Royal Navy Warship launched - more to follow
Details have been released regarding Britain's next generation of fighting Ships.
Read full storyWhat Can You Do With A Bi-Sexual Crab?
If I just wanted to get you to read my post and went to the extent of juicing a headline, I would have done even better than that, like "Bush MRI Reveals Brain Fully Intact" or "Yoko Ono and Condi Rice Discovered in Love Nest", but this is a real deal here and as a hetero, I have to deal with my feelings about gay crabs (or transgender...I suppose like the headline says, some c...
Read full storyStudy: Cigarette smoking the leading cause of everything
WASHINGTON - A five-year study concludes that cigarette smoking is the leading cause of everything, from motorcycle accidents to catastrophic natural disasters and failed romances to mental disorders.
Read full storySoulja Boy remembered on Pearl Harbor Day
As America's attention turned to the anniversary of the Dec. 7, 1941, attack on Pearl Harbor Friday, military officials, high school students and other experts talked about one of the country's unsung military heroes: Soulja Boy.
Read full storyHousewife disappointed in size, quantity of Taylor towels
UPPER MARLBORO, Md. - Courtney Livingstone, a housewife here, expressed disappointment in the size and quantity of rally towels given to fans at the Washington Redskins game against Buffalo to honor slain safety Sean Taylor.
Read full storyReaders baffled by revelation of apocalypse.
We have waited hundreds of years for its sequel, and finally last night it was at last revealed. Fans worldwide gathered at the Vatican City for the release of 'Bible 2', for a fantastic show and book signings by the Pope.
Read full storyTheSpoofDotCom falls to its knees.
Infamous online website for wordcraft has come crumbling down today. The famous website, 'TheSpoof.com' could not hold itself together after the disappearance of editor-in-chief, Mark.
Read full storyPharmaceutical Breakthrough Found in Ohio Man's Emails
Lunch salad deliveryman Vince Trebiler of Dayton, Ohio had a promising surprise when he opened up his emails: he came across an enhancement for male sexual performance that could be a boon to men everywhere.
Read full storyTyson still backing Hatton to win: well, are you gonna tell him?
Ricky Hatton has had his head knocked clean off by Floyd Mayweather, who apparently isn't just a loud-mouthed preener after all, but Mike Tyson doesn't appear to have noticed.
Read full storyAmerican Citizenship For Beckham: Vows to Win World Cup For USA
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA -- English football hero David Beckham is getting cheers from America and jeers from England today as he announced that he will play the next world cup for America. Since his move to North American Soccer, there has been a t...
Read full storySnowball Earth?
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - According to Physorg.com, "Snowball" Earth really became "Slushball" Earth. Evidenced by the amount of carbon 13 which was found in the remains of plants of the late Neoproterozoic era, somewhere between 85...
Read full storyNew Musharraf "Dress-Up" Doll hits Pakistan Toy shelves
[ISLAMABAD]: In order to win the hearts and minds of "the Pakistani people" and convince them to deliver a "resounding victory" in the forthcoming elections, the PML(Q) or
Read full storyPakistan election results already decided - January 8, 2008 heralds Year One of the "Pervez Dynasty" - Troika of Pervezes to rule for 5-10 years.
Borrowing a page from the handbook of another 'trusted US ally' - the late Shah of Iran - Pakistan's Prez Musharraf put on a Persepolis type
Read full storyA Life in the Day - Stormtrooper 56789
My days recently have been quite dull, ever since that documentary anyway. Now that Lord Vader has gone and died as well,there is even less to do.
Read full storyFather Christmas - A life in the day
My days are usually all the same, with the rare exception of Christmas Eve.
Read full storyShock new pet sweeps the nation
A shock new pet has overtaken Puppies, Kittens, Hamsters, Goldfish, and Scorpions in the race for most abandoned present in the new year.
Read full storyEarth's Crust
Hovis, the family maker of bread and NASA are to team up in the future to make a brand new item, the crust-less planet.
Read full storyTV Integrity - For Sale
Following news that Paddington Bear now likes Marmite, we are sad to report that Professor Yaffle has sold himself out to Yakult.
Read full storyMissing Disks Found - Says Santa
The two missing discs that have recently caused a melt down at the Government have been found, safe and sound at the North Pole.
Read full storyVermont Teddy Bear Company cancels line of controversial faith-based bears for Christmas; fundamentalists charged blasphemy
Shelburne, Vermont - After the sentencing of British schoolteacher, Gillian Gibbons, in Sudan, the Vermont Teddy Bear Company announced today it would be canceling a line of controversial religiously themed bears such as Judas Bear with Fifty Pieces...
Read full storyRainbow - The Movie
Lamented Television show Rainbow is to be made into a movie. The tale of George, Zippy, Bungle and Geoffrey will be turned into a smorgasbord of neon, shadow worn characterisation by Quentin Taratino.
Read full storyTimmy Mallet
News has reached us, that the new controller of BBC1 is none other than the much missed, much ridiculed Timmy Mallet.
Read full storyAndy Murray signed up for Fred Perry biopic
It was confirmed last night that British tennis sensation, Andy Murray, has been signed up to appear in a new biopic about Fred Perry.
Read full storyNoshing Mink's Lost World Part I
In which I foolishly volunteer for a dangerous voyage...
Read full storyCunning linguistics at play in Pakistani politics - Bhutto says "hum elections definitely winnenge" - copycat Musharraf argues "Benazir 200% loosenge"
[ISLAMABAD]: A new war of words is taking place in the Pakistani capital. Amidst all the brouhaha and usual rhetoric of who is more a democrat, who is more the...
Read full storyJessica Alba's tiny tutee fruity booty is all knocked up, she says
Hollywood, California - Men, who love women with boy butts, or struggling to repress any latent homosexual tendencies, broke out into tears when they heard the news of Jessica Alba's pregnancy today.
Read full storyDinosaurs "tougher than previously thought"
Fossil hunters have uncovered the remains of a dinosaur that has much of its soft tissue still intact. The specimen, found in an underground cave hundreds of feet below Soho, London, is said to prove that some dinosaurs were much "toughe...
Read full storyMysterious mammal with big ears was Prince Charles on desert hunt
A spokeswoman at Clarence House has admitted that a nocturnal photograph of an "extraordinary" desert creature with enormous ears was in fact the Prince of Wales feeling peckish one night on a recent beach...
Read full storyAsian MI5 agents do public interviews
In an attempt to show that Asians are fitting into British society and that not all Moslems are bomb-carrying, head-chopping deviants, the Government has given the green light to the broadcast of public interviews of...
Read full storyScientists call on Government to "fund the gap" - protests planned at all tube stations
Travellers on London's Underground will hear not only the well-known message "Mind the gap" but also another message "Fund the gap" as geeky scientists protest about the funding gap
Read full storyOprah for Obama - Double-O factor takes unusual turn! New poll has Oprah Winfrey leading Hillary Clinton by double digits in Iowa, New Hampshire, S.Carolina!! Queen of talk shows considering Presidential run!!!
With cries of "Run Oprah Run" filling the air, the talk-show icon and Earth Mother addressed thousands of her adoring fans over the weekend - during her official public celebrity en...
Read full storyAl Qaeda will send water boarding team to Olympic Games
The terrorist organisation Al Qaeda has announced on Al Jazeera News that it will be sending a water boarding team to the Beijing Olympic Games in 2008.
Read full storyQueen Mudder meets Satan
London Dec. 1st 2007: (Ass.Mess.) The acclaimed Spoof Queen and part time Judge, affectionately known as 'The Queen Mudder' has confessed as to how she has become so successful and prolific.
Read full storyMark Lowton given Ten Commandments of Marriage
St Ethelreds's Church, Lancaster: After a successful matrimony, the Vicar gave a beaming Mr Lowton an envelope with some Godly wisdom in it. In Seine news are privy to the envelope's contents and would like to publish/leak them to every newlywed who comes to this site.
Read full storyGordon Brown ceases to be PM in protest
The British Prime Minister, Gorgon Brown today made a public declaration of his disdain at Robert Mugababy President, dictator and overlord of Zimbabwe.
Read full storyBritish and Saudi Arms Scandal Astounds World
LONDON (FMLiveWire) - The massive BAE weapons bribery scandal enveloping the British Government and the Saudi Arabian royal family continues to astound the world.
Read full storyNew Evidence in Labour Sleaze Donation Scandal
A Blackpool pensioner has emerged as the true benefactor of a colossal donation to the Labour Party, previously thought to have come from billionaire F1 boss Bernie Ecclestone.
Read full storyTomorrow's News Today
In the fast moving world of modern technology, Apple have a announced a replacement for the iPhone which was introduced to the UK market 2 weeks ago, Microsoft have introduced version 675 of yesterday's Office ve...
Read full storySub Continent of India dissapears up Richard Gere's backside
The Earth lost almost 1/6th of it's population today following a disaster involving former Hollywood heart-throb Richard Gere.
Read full storyConrad Black will be allowed to Spoof from Prison
Chicago, Illinois - (Perjuring Mess): Convicted swindler and former newspaper boss Lord Black of Crossharbour will be able to write for a satirical comedy website even after he enters prison on March 3 according to federal prison sources in FCI Cole...
Read full storyMark Lowton Returns: Now TheSpoof writers decide to get married to each other and go on honeymoon for two weeks each
The much heralded return of TheSpoof.com's ubermeister Mark Lowton has been short lived as it was revealed today that the entire writing 'staff' of the site are to get married to each other and ta...
Read full storyBritney Spears and Paul McCartney Admit Torrid Affair
CAMDEN, NEW JERSEY - Paul McCartney told a group of reporters that he was, "hopelessly addicted to blond peach fuzz."...
Read full storyMike Huckabee: Perfecting the Art of Bible Thumping
BRIMSTONE, SOUTH CAROLINA - Hoping to prove that lemmings have nothing over most Americans, Presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee is working out all the kinks in his Bible thumping routine.
Read full storyFormer Yorkshire Miners Back Striking Bobbies
Two former Yorkshire miners have backed the police over their bitter dispute with the government saying it's all water under the bridge. Alf Tupper and Sam McGrime, of the Flag and Parrot, Mexborough were referring to 12 March, 1984 when 100000 m...
Read full storyCanoe man 'stole dead dog's ID to get false passport'
Hartlepool - (Moronic Mess): Death-feigning canoe man John Darwin may have obtained a false passport by stealing the identity of a dead dog according to police sources today.
Read full storyPanting Pets Protest Petty Prettying
According to a new survey by veterinarians, dogs and cats do not enjoy being clothed in cute sweaters or jackets or pants or hats or sunglasses!...
Read full storyJulianne Hough get Crabs from Helio Castroneves
Julianne Hough is a well known Ball Room dancer featured on ABC Dances with the Star. She was treated at the Atlanta Regional Medical center for a sexually transmitted disease (STD) called Crabs (also called pubic lice) which are small, wingless ins...
Read full storyErutrot is definatey not torture.
A respecticled high level government source who has ordered that he remains anonymous puts forward this absolute truth.
Read full storyAbrahams Demands 'Pound of Flesh' From Government
The money man at the centre of the Labour Party funding row might have disguised his donation to the party to avoid accusations of being too Jewish.
Read full storyMike Huckabee claims his God is better than Mitt Romney's God; Ron Paul stays silent
Former southern Baptist preacher turned Arkansas governor turned aspiring presidential candidate Mike Huckabee claimed today that Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney's Mormon God is inferior to his southern Baptist God.
Read full storyExclusive: 'Mohammed' Bear - My Story
The bear formerly known as Edward Bear at the centre of the Sudanese bear naming furore tells his own story here in your soaraway Spoof special in a worldwide exclusive brought to you only by The Spoof.
Read full storyTate Modern Unveils Giant Line of Crack Cocaine
LONDON- A worthless piece of art? Or just more problems with London drugs culture?...
Read full storyReport Reveals All Poetry is Rubbish
It was once a byword for romance and sophistication - the literary form of choice for tentative suitors and genteel fops alike, but new research published today has revealed that poetry is, as many had feared, "pretentious, cumbersome and utterl...
Read full storyYule Be Sorry! Hellfire Club warns Jupiter transit of Capricorn will topple Puppet Monarchy
London - (Cosmic Mess): Helfire Club grandees are quakin' tonight amid news that the 18 December 2007 ingress of Jupiter, the Great Astrological Benefic and Ruler of the Gods, into the cardinal sign of Capricorn is the apocalyptic omen foretellin...
Read full storyBush says "Yup"
President G. W. Bush has agreed with OPEC proposal that the US will achieve the same fuel usage efficiency per capita as the most lenient users, "and America can achieve this in six months" he added.
Read full storyWhat do Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Kellie Pickler and Wal-Mart have in common?
Black Friday and Cyber Monday are bench marks that are designed to gage the American public's thirst to give crappy presents to family, friends and pets. Is this a news story?...
Read full storyKim Kardashian wants a lesbian tango with Britney Spears for $1 mil
Hot pop musical artist Britney Spears has made sexual verbal ogling towards reality star Kim Kardashian. It has been reported the Britney Spears is a big fan of the lowly rated reality show. The strange and bewildering thing about this story is tha...
Read full storySadism is a drug of choice UN warns Saudis
UN HQ, New York - (Preposterous Mess): Fundamentalist Wahhabi floggers, lapidationists and amputation fanatics have been warned by the UN Security Council that sadism is a top recreational attraction along with opiates, alcohol or crack cocaine.
Read full storyBin Laden spotted in Soho
Wanted terrorist Osama Bin Laden has been spotted in Soho square today, it has been reported he is going to be interviewed for the England job. It is not without a show of dismay from England fans, who are disappointed to see someone...
Read full storyTeddy Bears Postpone Annual Teddy Bear Picnic After Silly Sudanese Standoff
The Teddy Bear Council of Great Britain, has this morning postponed its plans for this year's Annual Teddy Bear Picnic, due to the astonishing and bewildering Sudanese Teddy Bear Row.
Read full storyBritney Spears to Star in New Shaft Movie with Richard Roundtree
Film buffs were busy twitching at the sphincter this week when details of a new Shaft movie starring Richard Roundtree and Britney Spears were announced.
Read full storyWoman arrested in Sudan for having the letter M in name
A British woman living in Sudan has been arrested and charged with blasphemy and insulting Islam for having the letter M in her name, which also belongs in the name of Prophet Muhammad.
Read full storyFCUK Told To Change Its Disgusting Name
FCUK, the leading clothing brand, has been ordered to change its name after thousands of customer complaints were upheld in the High Court, it has been reported.
Read full storyAmbulances are a Trifle Unclean, says Report
Road accident victims who would normally require emergency treatment in hospital, and a ride in an ambulance to get it, are being advised to travel there in a taxi, after it was revealed in a report that ambu...
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