News has reached us, that the new controller of BBC1 is none other than the much missed, much ridiculed Timmy Mallet.
Mallet, real name Hammer (he had a short career as MC Hammer, but the lawyer's pointed out that 'You can't touch this' so we have not).
The entertainer, known for his Saturday morning ritual humiliation by Tommy Boyd said: 'This is the chance I was always waiting for. Who's laughing now, Tommy Boyd?'
The answer was no-one. The news is terrifyng. Mallet intends for a channel for Turkeys, and one for books that are waiting to be pulped. He has commisioned Russel T Davies to re-write Rentaghost for an adult audience, and for Christopher Biggins to have his own peak time slot on BBc 53. Be afraid. We know that we are.