Scientists call on Government to "fund the gap" - protests planned at all tube stations

Funny story written by Noshing Mink

Wednesday, 12 December 2007

image for Scientists call on Government to "fund the gap" - protests planned at all tube stations
Dr Cox saw the funding gap through the Hubble Telescope but we couldn't see it

Travellers on London's Underground will hear not only the well-known message "Mind the gap" but also another message "Fund the gap" as geeky scientists protest about the funding gap in research.

The so-called funding gap was first observed by Dr Brian Cox, of Manchester University's School of Physics and Astronomy, using the Hubble Telescope. He told our reporter:

"We are worried about the funding gap. It could get bigger and bigger and eventually so big that it will swallow up the whole solar system and spit it out in another dimension where there will be exact duplicates of everyone. It is a really frightening prospect and the Government has to act now."

However, a spokesman for the Government said:

"Dr Cox is talking tosh, like most scientists do. There's no such thing as the funding gap."

Scientists are staging protests at all London's tube stations and will tell passengers to "fund the gap". A spokeswoman for London Underground said:

"This is highly irresponsible behaviour and could have adverse consequences. Passengers could get confused about whether they are to mind the gap or fund it. In an extreme case, a passenger might fall into the gap and either get crushed by an oncoming train or be spewed out into Dr Cox's alternative universe."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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