Housewife disappointed in size, quantity of Taylor towels

Funny story written by lancemartin

Wednesday, 12 December 2007

image for Housewife disappointed in size, quantity of Taylor towels

UPPER MARLBORO, Md. - Courtney Livingstone, a housewife here, expressed disappointment in the size and quantity of rally towels given to fans at the Washington Redskins game against Buffalo to honor slain safety Sean Taylor.

"I knew they were handing out towels and I needed a new set," said Mrs. Livingstone, a mother of two, who lives with her husband in Upper Marlboro. "When I got to the stadium you can imagine how disappointed I was to find out they were only hand towels and only giving out one per fan."

Now, the 34-year-old stay-at-home mother says she wants her lawyer husband to consider suing the Redskins organization. "When they say they're giving out towels I would at least think they would be bath size or least a set. To think I went to that stupid game when I could have went to the white sale at Laura Ashley."

When asked for comment her husband, Allister B. Livingstone, rolled his eyes and said, "She doesn't understand the value of these towels. They're fetching more than a hundred bucks on Ebay right now."

Mrs. Livingstone said she can understand why the Redskins lost. "Those hand towels are so small the players couldn't see them to get inspired."

Mrs. Livingstone said she was also disappointed in the color selections. "I could have lived with it if they had at least had a variety of colors, say a Williamsburg green or at least mauve. Instead, they were just plain white hand towels with the number 21 on them. It was just a bad day and I'm stuck with four hand towels that don't really go with anything we have. I hope if another one of their players dies they'll at least think of giving out towel sets and in a better variety of colors."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more